Stand-up

So over the course of the last few weeks, whilst I have otherwise been occupied by visitors, potty training has advanced rapidly. Most interesting.

Most interesting indeed. We have developed a bit of a routine which seems to be working well. Currently, V has 4 books to read on the potty. Usually each potty event is a lengthy one, requiring anywhere between 2 to 4 books. Sometimes with repeat reads on a particular favorite.

You also have to be completely naked. Well, not ‘you’, more like ‘him’. I remain fully clothed. So does Edward. There is a potty chart on the wall, smiley stickers on the counter and a little container of m&m’s. It’s a 3 pronged approach. I WILL get pee in the potty, even if it kills me.

Which it hasn’t! Hurray!!

We are currently averaging at least one pee on the potty per day. Miracle. He’s even poo’d on the potty too. Double miracle. Which is like a double rainbow…. a rare and awesome event.

Anyways, about a week and a half a new development arose. My Mum picked him up one day last month and come home with the news that Vince had done a ‘standup peepee’. Well, we were all in shock at hearing this news. I mean, A) where did he learn this and B) who taught him and C) where did he learn this?!

Honestly? Where did it come from! I’ve been doing 99% of the potty training. Ok, I’ve been doing %100 of the training. Edward was been ‘back-up’ and ‘support staff’ and sometimes ‘human resources’.

I’ve been teaching him to sit. But he has seen Daddy peepee a few times. And one of his potty books does have a picture of a baseball player doing a ‘standup peepee’.

So he’s self taught. Clearly a genius.

So when this miraculous event transpires at home, he usually has to be completely naked. He takes his little step stool over to the potty and puts it in front. Up he steps and then proceeds to balance himself by leaning forward with his hands on either the top of the toilet or holding on to the raised lid.

And then he simply leans forward.

Urine practically leaps out of his bladder and into the potty. Miracle!

Way more peeing going on then when he sits. WAY. It’s like a proper adult pee.

Hurray!! Huzzah!

“Mummy!! I need a paper towel!” (toilet paper), he shouted proudly at me, even though I was about 8 inches away from him.

I promptly tore off a piece of toilet paper and solemnly handed it to him. What he did next was not what I was expecting. He proceeded to lean down and wipe off the porcelain of the potty stating “Dis is icky. I clean it”.

Once clean, he proceeded to do what I had showed him to do with the toilet paper. Wipe.

Wipe! WIPE! Ack! As that little wad of tissue neared his ‘bits’ and I realized his intentions, I totally did a slow-mo leap towards his crotch (even though I was a foot away) and shouted “Nooooooooo…..!!!!!” in slow-mo as well.

I was too late. That paper dabbed at the bits and then was properly discarded in the potty. A sweet-faced smile proudly turned to me “Mummy! I did it!!!”

Ok, you sure did baby. You sure did.

I shudder thinking about the paper part, but thrill at the thought of him peeing on the potty. Who would have thought I would love urine so much?! Who would have thought toilets and I would be intimately involved?

Oh potty training, how I both love and loath you.

xoxo a.m.

 

Potty training? This site seems to have some tips and tricks for Mummies…