Tag Archives: The Man

Avec holy terror

This past Tuesday morning brought a new skill of Vince’s to light. A previously unknown skill. A skill that was observed by the majority of the mothers and fathers going to and fro from his preschool parking lot.

We pulled in and parked. I swung around and opened his door, unbuckled him and he scrambled for the seat next to him and then crawled up on the trunk cover of my hatchback. And there he stayed, little giggle-snorts occasionally emerging from him. Threats were useless. Bribes were also completely useless.

Finally, I shut the door, left him there and walked over to the garbage can by the front door of the school, hoping perhaps that this would encourage him to MOVE HIS BUTT.

The only reaction I got was from another mom who walked closer to my car for a better look and then remarked “Well, that’s a new one.”

Oh, well I am SO glad that we were able to teach you something… And that was totally sincere. Honestly.

A few minutes later, he apparently got bored and we were able to got to school and I was able to go to work.

He attempted to do it again on Wednesday and Thursday. I managed to intercept and derail all plans for those 2 days.

Saturday he was angelic. All day. A perfect angel. I spoiled him rotten as a result with a popcorn/movie party on Mummy and Daddy’s big bed and we watched Rio. Ok, I lied. There was an incident or two. But compared to the day as a whole, angelic.

Today? I would consider his behavior The Opposite of yesterday. Mainly because he climbed up on the hatchback cover twice. And twice I had to wait him out. Yup, I just sit and ignore him and wait for him to stop. It may take some time, but the second he is down I let him know exactly what his punishment will be… (I took his stuffed Angry Bird away… I’m pretty sure he could have cared less).

The second time he did it (and might I add he learned how to lock his door from the inside too?) we hit the big time. Once I was done waiting him out, that is… Early bedtime was promised most fiercely. And then double promised later when Vince did a runner down the sidewalk and disappeared from view while we were walking the dog. And didn’t come back. Forcing me to run with bags of poo, no bra and barefoot down the sidewalk to frog-march him back to the house.

Vince can now say the following: “I no run away because da car can come and HIT me! And the Man can come and take me away. Right Mummy??”

Yes, that’s right. More or less. Or what ever I can come up with.

Oh well, c’est la vie avec toddler, no??

xoxo a.m.


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