Tag Archives: please don’t laugh at me

Rocket spit

I think, finally, things are starting to settle back into somewhat normal patterns.

I had thought that last week, but then the flu struck! Suddenly and with very little warning. It literally was the week from hell.

There was vomit, abnormally high fevers (104.7!!), lethargy, clingyness. Pretty much all of the shitty things that go along with the flu. I know you have all been there. You know what I’m talking about.

Edward and I took turns staying home with him. By the end of each day, we were literally desperate for adult conversation. I was ecstatic over heading into work. And on the days I stayed home, desperate to go to the gym and go running. Our healthy lifestyle went right out the window. Thai food and red wine… and pizza and wine and etc etc. We threw all our careful plans right out the window, too damn tired to cook or, honestly, do anything.

Blah. But the second he was better? Oh lord. OH LORD.

That would be Saturday. And suddenly, it was like he was never sick at all. Instead, it was rather like he had been resting in order to get into more mischief than usual.

Why on earth I thought of the brilliant plan to go to Florida Mall with him, I will never know. But it seemed a good idea at the time. And why I also thought it was a grand plan to leave the stroller in the car, not really sure.

Edward: “What are you? Some sort of crazy person? Why did you leave it in the car?”

Jaime: “Well, he likes walking with me and I didn’t want to fight with him, or have him insist on pushing the stroller through the crowded mall or… ummm… ya, that’s all I got.”

And my plan would take me to the Aveda store and to M.A.C. Shouldn’t have even bothered, based on my previous experience (see post from 2009 when V puked all over the Aveda store).

Aveda store: I am so sorry that my rambunctious son ran all over your organic bamboo floors, touched all of your organic soy candles and then got behind the counter and tried to play with the cash register. Thank god your uber hip staff was completely focused on the mini-facial she was giving to a customer. She politely ignored me.

M.A.C. store: I am sorry my son repeatedly pulled acorns from his pockets, stuck them in his mouth (ignoring my repeated admonishments) and then rocket spat them out across the store, went and fetched them and popped them back in his mouth. Your uber hip staff was was too busy being uber hip/way cooler than me/pale/trendy etc etc.

He then had many many mini-melt downs on the way out of the mall, turned into many many noodles and just was, in general, awful, mischevious, giggley, whiney and a pain in my ass.

And then when we got to the car he told me “Mummy! That was fun! I am good boy!”

Uhuh. A good boy, eh?

So Vincent is better. Thank goodness.

Now back to our regular routines….

xoxo a.m.

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