Tough love and Rocket ships

Under construction…

Today is going to be a great day. I just know it I woke up knowing it. Vince woke up super chipper. Eleanor woke up with gooey smiles. Clearly the day is already earmarked to be amazing. Hopefully I haven’t just screwed myself with my overabundance of optimism.

4 weeks into being a stay-at-home-mom and things are slowly starting to improve. Last week was a week of tough love. But that tough love seems to have created a little boy who is determined to listen to me. Hallelujah! I’ll let you in on my secret.

Avec holy terror

This past Tuesday morning brought a new skill of Vince’s to light. A previously unknown skill. A skill that was observed by the majority of the mothers and fathers going to and fro from his preschool parking lot.

We pulled in and parked. I swung around and opened his door, unbuckled him and he scrambled for the seat next to him and then crawled up on the trunk cover of my hatchback. And there he stayed, little giggle-snorts occasionally emerging from him. Threats were useless. Bribes were also completely useless.

Finally, I shut the door, left him there and walked over to the garbage can by the front door of the school, hoping perhaps that this would encourage him to MOVE HIS BUTT.

The only reaction I got was from another mom who walked closer to my car for a better look and then remarked “Well, that’s a new one.”

Oh, well I am SO glad that we were able to teach you something… And that was totally sincere. Honestly.

A few minutes later, he apparently got bored and we were able to got to school and I was able to go to work.

He attempted to do it again on Wednesday and Thursday. I managed to intercept and derail all plans for those 2 days.

Saturday he was angelic. All day. A perfect angel. I spoiled him rotten as a result with a popcorn/movie party on Mummy and Daddy’s big bed and we watched Rio. Ok, I lied. There was an incident or two. But compared to the day as a whole, angelic.

Today? I would consider his behavior The Opposite of yesterday. Mainly because he climbed up on the hatchback cover twice. And twice I had to wait him out. Yup, I just sit and ignore him and wait for him to stop. It may take some time, but the second he is down I let him know exactly what his punishment will be… (I took his stuffed Angry Bird away… I’m pretty sure he could have cared less).

The second time he did it (and might I add he learned how to lock his door from the inside too?) we hit the big time. Once I was done waiting him out, that is… Early bedtime was promised most fiercely. And then double promised later when Vince did a runner down the sidewalk and disappeared from view while we were walking the dog. And didn’t come back. Forcing me to run with bags of poo, no bra and barefoot down the sidewalk to frog-march him back to the house.

Vince can now say the following: “I no run away because da car can come and HIT me! And the Man can come and take me away. Right Mummy??”

Yes, that’s right. More or less. Or what ever I can come up with.

Oh well, c’est la vie avec toddler, no??

xoxo a.m.

I can roar like a dragon

I think this is what my face looked like this morning...

Or so I found out this morning on my way to my in-laws house. We headed over there for some swimming and there was a rumor floating around that they would babysit while Edward and I went to the movies.

E headed off first, we followed a few minutes later.

I threw in a cd, some nice chill Sarah Harmer (that’s ‘hippy crap’ to you Fran) and it all went down hill from there.

My son disapproved of my music choice

“I no like this, I want the Danger Danger song. Mummy! I want my song! I no like this, I don’t want to listen to it. I want MY MUSIC! TURN IT OFF MUMMY!” etc etc etc

And this was combined with tears, flailing and the whiniest voice you have ever heard. IN YOUR LIFE. Unless you too have a three-year old, then you know exactly what I am talking about.

I, apparently, I left my patience on the couch. And also, one can only listen to ‘Danger Danger, High Voltage by Electric Six’ so many times before losing your damn mind.

This roar erupted out of me that actually was rather frightening. Vince must have agreed because he paused in mid-whine and burst into actual real tears, as opposed to the fake ones previous. Ugh.  I hate it when things like this happen, but sometimes they just do.

3 seconds later, we both moved on. I calmed down, V stopped crying and we hit the expressway to Sassy and Pop-Pop’s.

Once we arrived, I told V it was time to go to the bathroom.

“No, I just did it already.” Oh really. Reeeaaaallllyyy. And nope, you didn’t. Well, you did, but it was 4 hours ago. You are not a camel. So off we went to the potty amid many protestations of “I did it already” and “I don’t have to”.

I shut the door and locked it. Edwards parents weren’t home yet, but I had to go too and I always lock the door. Mistake number one, clearly.

“You don’t lock da door! YOU DON”T LOCK IT!!”

(I’m sitting on the potty)

“I don’t want to go potty!!!!!!! I don’t have to!!!!

(The door is unlocked. Did I mention I was sitting on the potty?)

“I DON”T WANT TO!!!!”

And then he opened the door. I roared just one word “OUT” and he ran.

Edward, from the other room, “Jame? What on earth is going on in there?”

*sigh* Mummy is losing her damn mind.

And then 3 seconds later, Vince announced “I wanna go potty with Daddy”. And off they went, to the potty on the other side of the house. And they returned successful, V proclaiming “Mummy! I did a super monster pee!”

And then V happily went off with his Grandparents and Edward and I went and saw Captain America.

There is, it seems, an awful lot of arguing going on in our house. Vince disapproves of pretty much everything we do and breaks out his multiple not-so-secret weapons of whining, tears and full on fits. I am clearly learning how to handle this. And it seems that I am mostly handling it badly.

Vince has been three for 6 weeks. Geez-us is this way worse than  2.

I’ll get the hang of it eventually, probably when he turns 4…

xoxo a.m.