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How I was not attacked by a zombie (or my trip to the dermatologist part deux)

After an eventful weekend of school supply shopping and lying on the couch, Monday arrived with a bit of a whimper on my part.

I unwisely stayed up to watch True Blood last night and upon hitting the hay, had one of those really awful nights of sleep. The kind where you are, indeed, asleep but at the same time you are awake. It’s that really uneasy sleep where you are right on edge, where you wake up feeling kind of dirty as if you need to immediately take a shower to clean the sleep off of you.

Now whether this was the product of a botched nap earlier in the day, that greasy pizza I had for dinner (why? why!!!) or the impending trip to the dermatologist on Monday afternoon, I will never know.

Regardless, I slept like shit and when I woke up it was Monday.

Ugh.

AND I had to go to the dermatologist. Yuck.

Todays big trip was for stitch removal of the first site and then removal of the second site, which just so happens to be a few inches below my collar bone.

The dermatologist I go to in Orlando is lovely and also runs a spa in conjunction with her dermatology practice. As a result, I was comfortably reclined on a chair, pillow tucked under my head while classical music softly piped in the background.

I was almost relaxed. And then they stuck some needles in me. And then they cut part of me out. Irregardless of the fact that I felt nothing, I sure smelled it. Because the area had to be cauterised post-removal and pre-stitches.

And a flashback ensued….

Tell me, oh children of the seventies, do you remember those Elementary school assemblies where we all sat so politely while we were lectured about not touching live wires? And then to really cement the lesson, an adult would then proceed to electrocute a hot dog? The smell that wafted through the gym when you were 6 is what I smelled like this afternoon…

I almost felt like the live wire act was going to be followed a lecture on not touching unexploded bombs. Remember? The 80’s were some freaky shit.

Anyways, to my great disappointment the bandage I received was not as large as the one from the weeks previous. Unfortunately I am unable to pretend that I was bitten by a shark or attacked by zombies.

How disappointing…

Humor me??

xoxo a.m.

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