We all know you would rather read about the vomit, poop and general embarrassment then, say, me. I like to sneak in a ‘high-five Jaime’ post every once in a while, and it always makes me laugh because no-one reads it. But write about poop or vomit?? Hits a-million. Ha!! I know, I know… just put up with me. Sometimes I need a little self-indulgence…
Anyways, switching to bodily fluids and such…
V has developed several new skillz (with a ‘z’ ’cause they’re totally mad skillz). One of which I have only heard about but have not yet witnessed. And it scares me a little.
Sometime during the middle of last week, I came home, went upstairs and discovered that V’s bedroom door had a child-proof knob-thingy on the inside of his room. I asked M about this new addition and he turned to me with a total dead-pan face and said:
“Yes. He opened his door. It is all over. FOR EVER.”
I had thought it was over when he climbed out of his crib. And previously when he started walking. And then just before that when he started crawling. You see where I am going with this? This is the latest incarnation of “It’s over FOR EVER.”
So there’s that. And then there’s there this other thing that surprised me yesterday while V was cruising in his diaper around the living room.
I went upstairs for a minute and when I returned, V’s diaper was just hanging off of him. It usually sags in the butt a little anyways, but this time it was proper hanging off. As in one side of it had been undone. And his hand was making a move down the front of his diaper.
“Don’t touch!!” I shouted. And he listened. This is the only good thing that he’s learned from day-care. Not to touch ‘things’ and ‘bits’ or the ‘area’ while you are getting your diaper changed. And this has evolved into a whole ‘don’t touch’ approach for anything in the zone.
That hand shot out of that saggy diaper so damn fast.
“Mummy help”, he said. And so off we went upstairs to sort out this out.
And then it happened again later. And my imagination went crazy. Things rubbed on walls. Things like urine-soaked diapers and poo.. Stuff jammed in toilets. And things unexpectedly where it they shouldn’t be (ie: diaper on my pillow etc). I should accentuate that none of these things have happened. YET.
Ok, so he can (apparently) open doors and remove his own diaper.
And then this morning? Oh just you wait for this one…
This morning, on Father’s day of all days, he came over to me as I was standing in front of the dishwasher cutting up papaya and PUSHED me and shouted “Move!!!!”.
What? Since when do you push your mother that gave (painful) birth to you and cleans up your poop every day and tell her to move.
Well, I guess since you hit the two-year old mark.
I wish you could have seen my face. And heard me say “EXCUSE ME?!”
And then heard V say “Peeeeeeez.” Oh, well saying please right after a big ol’ push makes everything all better.
Didn’t you know that?
Well, now you do… xoxo a.m.