Tag Archives: Mommy blogger

News Flash! Or how I suck at Mommy-blogging

Not quite the same pink and perky, but they'll do...

I feel slightly horrified, nauseous and a bit like I might need a shower to get clean. And no, it’s not because I am watching The A-Team movie again. Although I totally understand if you thought that. That movie is completely nausea-inducing.

I was just cruising the intranet, googling pregnant things. And parenting things. Just clicking from link to link. It’s always a fun was to encounter the new and interesting…

Somehow I ended up on an extremely pink and cheerful ‘mommy-blog’. I scrolled for curiosities sake. And ended up reading a bunch of posts. And then clicked some links on the blog and ended up on some acquaintance’s blog. Also pink and cutesy. And clicked and scrolled there, same thing.

I did it a few more times before this horrified feeling came over me and I started to feel a little sick. Or maybe it was me just being a big bitch. But I found it all revolting.

It literally was endless posts about redesigning ones house, party planning for the under 5 set and a seemingly endless series of chirpy, cheerful vomit.

I don’t get it.

And on every single blog menu when I clicked on ‘blogs I like’, every single blog was a copy of the other. Possibly more chirpy, cheerful, pink, perky and revolting than the last.

I apparently am a huge bitch. OR I just don’t get it. Is this what ‘mommy-bloggers’ blog about? Why? Wheres the poop and vomit posts? Did I miss a memo?  Should I start signing my name with a heart? Perhaps a giveaway of some sort? Sponsors?

Or did I sidestep into an alternate reality of some sort?

To be honest, I find it disappointing. And I am not really sure what else or how else to describe it. And it’s not like I am a hot commodity out there on the net. Mostly because I call it things like ‘the net’. But at least I am real. And as real as I can be about all of the wonderful/horrible things that motherhood/parenthood has rained down on our family.

I certainly don’t mean this as an anti-mommyblog rant, but gah. GAH. I just… I guess I am at a loss as to what to say.

Please, if I ever become pink and perky, please slap me.

 

xoxo a.m.  (with a pink and sparkly heart)

 

 

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Things I think my child will like (that he hates)

Currently I am winning the war on the poo over here. It’s been 2 days of NO accidents and 2 whole days of pooing on the potty. And peeing in it too. Kind of a ‘hallelujah’ moment in the Melvin household. There is, to be honest, rather a lot of high-fiving going on as a result.

And with one problem disappearing, of course a new one rears its head. The always fun eating issue. You know, that one where they don’t want to? Ya. That one.

My household is currently on a vegetable strike. 2 1/2 years ago, I never thought V would make such a big deal about veggies. But when he was 6 months old, he was considerably weaker than he is now. Also less vocal. And also I could just make him.

I am pretending it’s a non-issue. No forcing going on. He eats the occasional piece of corn.

Today on the way home he announced “I no want nothing for dinner”.

“Oh? No macaroni? What about a sandwich? Chicken nuggets?”

Yes, yes, I know, why am I giving him a choice. Just make the m-f-ing dinner and he will eat it.

Well, actually he won’t. Not right now.

Tonight I was as desperate as I have ever been. Desperate enough to bring out this secret weapon.

“Would you like me to make you a frog sandwich?! It’s SO YUMMY!”

Edward (sotto voce) asked “What’s a frog sandwich?”

I whispered back “I don’t know. We’ll find out in a few moments”.

A frog sandwich is as follows:

Almond butter (if you are peanut free like we currently are) or peanut butter

Jelly (type red)

Sandwich rounds (but use bread too)

2 raisins

half a cheese stick.

And so you assemble. I cut the bottom off the sandwich round in a sort of half moon and put it on top like a 3-d mouth. And cut the top of the round and divided it into sections, creating 2 eyes and with a little leftover nub for a nose.

I toothpicked the eyes with a  raisin on top of each piece. I took my half cheese stick, cut that in half and then split them to look like legs.

Vince was delighted. He ate the nose. Then refused to eat anything else of it.

*Le sigh*

I le suck and making le gourmet designer meals.

Please pump my ego up and tell me it looks awesome… (or laugh at me, either one)

xoxo a.m.

Probably I need to take an art class...

 

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