Tag Archives: hormones

Where I learn that I am old

How I learned that I was old.

In a stunning twist of events, Vince slept over at his Grandparents last Friday night and Edward and I had the night to ourselves…

We were nervous and/or baffled. Nervous about receiving late-night phonecalls from his parents about how we needed to come and pick V up. And baffled because neither of us could remember the last time we had slept alone in our house together. I believe it was in 2008.

And I should add that we really had no idea what to do with this precious blip of time. (Please remember that I am a million years pregnant and if you were thinking that a ‘sexy’ suggestion would be obvious, be reminded that the only thing I am having an intimate relationship with these days  is my body pillow)

We’d gotten a tip that there was this cool pub that served Vegan food near the city and thought we’d start there. Who doesn’t like a cool pub?! And one that serves vegan food? Clearly this was a pub that was right up our alley. The tip included that the food was super. And since Edward and I are becoming increasingly old and decrepit, the idea of checking something new out was both daunting and exhilarating. Just the ticket for a Friday night.

We cruised into the parking lot. I waddled into the pub with husband in tow. We were seated and ordered drinks. And then I had this conversation with the (very young) waitress.

J: “I’ll have a coke.’

VYW: “Did you want ice for that? It does come in a bottle, you know…”

J: “A bottle? Great! Nope, I don’t need ice.”

And then she brought me a plastic bottle of soda. Classic case of misunderstanding. And also why did I assume the soda was going to come in a glass bottle? Because I’m old? Quite possibly.

It was still pretty early for a Friday night, Edward ordered a beer and we got some deep-fried pickles. And slowly the cool kids arrived. And then suddenly the whole place was packed with hipsters. Edward texted me, from across the table, the following:

“Everyone here is so hip.”

“Except for us.”

“Are we in Portland?”

I think we might have been. Or I was back in Victoria (BC that is), circa 1999 or 2000 and a University student again? The pub was packed with people in oversized glasses, men with scarves, skinny jeans, tattoos and very earnest looking conversations. Everywhere we turned there was another onslaught of pretty, disheveled girls paired with men wearing plaid and dark glasses. In boating shoes. With no socks on.

Man, we were clearly out of our league. It was almost enough to want to make you chant “One of us. One of us.” and then lean in and try to join a conversation about the challenges of composting in an apartment complex.

Ok, I’ll stop. Honestly it was a great place to grab a bite and hang out. It just happened to make me feel ancient and extremely uncool. Whatever, suck it up Jaime. You are approaching old and have never been cool. I’m rather comfortable with that now in any case, must have been the hormones acting up…

I have this feeling that this is something I should be getting used to. Or at least that Edward and I should attempt these hawt nights out at a place more our pace like  Cracker Barrel. Or maybe that we should make sure to be in the company of other people that could at least rub a thin veneer of ‘hip’ off on us that would make our entrance to this world a little smoother.

I keed, I keed… E and I totally don’t go to Cracker Barrel. Much.

xoxo a.m.

 

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I’m tired. And hormonal. Party.

So today I had a bit of a meltdown, one I didn’t know I was having until I was smack in the middle of it happening. I think it started with Vince getting his head stuck in a tree yesterday.

And then there was all the dog puke and shit I cleaned up yesterday and today. As well as several other things that are too mundane to bore you with. I was, surprisingly, short-tempered with pretty much everything. And there was still laundry to do and things to clean, dinner to make and pumpkins to carve.

I had a great nights sleep and thought I was over my short-temperedness until I had been up for an hour or so. And then the dog pooped in the house again. And then Vince  was Vince. And Vince, being the Vince he is, is a smart-talking, subjective listening type of three-year old. This might be all three-year olds, I’m not really sure.

When his Pop-Pop arrived to take him to GatorLand for a few hours, I just about cried. I had so many things to do around the house, things that would go a lot quicker without my little shadow. And despite that, there was just no energy for any of it. Edward finally kicked me out of the house and sent me to the movies, alone.

Which was ok with me. I didn’t really feel like talking to people. Aren’t I a peach, eh?

Sitting in the dark, eating buttery popcorn and drinking Cherry Coke and watching Hugh Jackman and some robots fight was pretty much the cure. I mean, fighting robots! Come on! Immediate cure-all!

I think part of the problem is that it’s not a problem, it’s just life. And part of the situation is that pregnancy brings so many other interesting things to the party. And part of my personality is that despite being 5 months pregnant, I think I have the same level of energy that I did prior. Which isn’t really true.

The movie really helped. I think I’ll need to go to at least one a week in order to get through the next few months… and I’ll probably have a few more hormonal breakdowns. Stupid hormones.

xoxo a.m.

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