Tag Archives: don’t pee on me or poo btw

Revenge pee

Things to Google:

Revenge Pee

And, of course, it is my son that leads me to Google things like this. The majority of knowledge I have gained from my son in the last 3 years is urine and feces related. Google is my best friend. It has helped me learnĀ  lots of things, most of which are regarding how to remove odors and stains from various fabric-type materials.

For the last 3 weeks or so, a particular pattern has been developing. One which has, honestly, been rather hard to figure out. Periodically V will just pee. A sort of no-warning situation. Often times it’s as a result of a stressful situation, or a situation he just doesn’t approve of. Or, mostly, something he disapproves of.

Or we’d fight, he’d cry and then pee on the floor. Through his shorts. Or, I’d say no, he’d cry and then pee on the floor. Sometimes he’d just run off to a corner of the livingroom, pretend to play with his toys and then announce “Mummy. I peed. Right der.”

*sigh*

But finally I made the connection. Revenge pee. Dude.

Telling one of my friends about my theory, she thought “Did you see if there is anything online? Probably there is a Mum that has dealt with it already…”

Well, I did learn a whole bunch of interesting stuff about people who take revenge on other people by peeing on their stuff. Animals too. Not peeing on animals, I mean. Just animals that revenge pee. That’s what you get when you Google ‘revenge pee’.

When, however, you Google ‘Children pee’ you get all sorts of shizzle. Info that, frankly, I have no interest in really reading as I am living the dream and am pretty sure that all Mum’s are doing the same things that I am. There honestly is not that many actual options.

Comfort (if it was indeed an accident) or reassure.

Obviously clean up is a MAJOR part of the operation.

As of yet, there is no punishment. It is so a total ‘f-you Mummy, let me have my own way!!’ that I pretty much cannot have any real reaction. Maybe an eyebrow raise. Oh, and a Mummy-face. One that I am still perfecting as it has a 50-50 response rate.

Today was a good day though. No revenge peeing. Plus V actively asking to use the potty. AND he pooped. TWICE. ON the potty.

Despite my total exhaustion and low levels of everything (Family health issues that I will not be discussing, except to say that there are some. They make me sad. And I am trying very hard to be adult about them), V filled that potty the m-f-ing up.

Which, I admit, in hind-sight type-wise sounds a little gross, but for real. We were super high-fiving each other and I did not have to clean up any poo from any non-toilet surface today.

Now I have totally lost my train of thought. Pretty sure it’s about pee. Probably poo too. It is my life, after all.

Anyways, any tips on surviving revenge peeing?

xoxo a.m.

Leave a comment

Filed under accident, epic, holy mother, Mad skills, parenting, pee, potty training, Revenge pee, Toddlers, Uncategorized

Potty-ness

As life centers around the bowl these days, it’s only fair to share with everyone. I am sure Vince will appreciate it when he is older. Or when he can read.

This week has been a week of underwear. As in, Vince is going to and from school in underwear! Wow! Huzzah! Someone can pee in the potty all by themselYes!

Not that this means there are no accidents. As there seem to be many and they are all gross and are all situated around me, post-work and usually when Edward is otherwise occupied. With his ipad. Bastard.

Last week, when we were doing a ‘dry-run’, success was in the works until we hit what I would call a road block, but perhaps other people would call ‘a shower of poo’.

As in, he told me he had to poo. He poo’d. We could ONLY go upstairs to sort out this mess, and with every step he took, there was a shower ‘nuggets. and this was something I didn’t notice right away.

Vince pointed it out for me. “Mummy. Ders poo. Right der.”

“There is?!?!”

“Yes. Der is.” “Where?” “Mummy!!!! Poo right der!” (The floors are dark wood)

“Where honey?” “MUMMY! Right der!!!!!”

And lo and behold, there was. All over my livingroom floor. On the landing. And up the stairs.

“EDWARD!!!!!!! I need you to clean up poo!!!!”

“OK!!!!!!!”

Ok, so anyways, that was awful. And then it didn’t happen again until Tuesday.

“Mummy! I poo!”

Oh god. And he did. In his underwear. And then was so frantic to have his pants changed of it, that the poo splatted on the floor of the bathroom and down his leg. Wonderful.

“Hun!! Is there a problem?”, Eddie shouted from the living room.

And then, I literally super ray-gun laser-visioned through the wall and burned his face off.

And then it happened again. But this time, since I had seen a pattern, I thought I had an answer. Get someone on the potty asap. Because apparently, they do not poop at school, they save it for home and then *attack* poop the house.

So I went in attack mode. I tried to be preventative. Instead, I just caused an international incident.

*A soft whisper from E later: “I think you might have been a bit over-reactive”*

*Whisper back:”Like a nuclear reactor”*

And now I feel awful, hoping that I did not scar him for life. I think we are having poop issues. Boo!

xoxo

a.m. (please pray for me)

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized