Tag Archives: bath-time

Shower

Me, earlier during my epic Monday shower....

Me, earlier during my epic Monday shower....

Its been a while since I posted about poop.

Happily , our household has been free of poop-related incidences. For a while there they were happening a little too frequently for my taste.

Don’t fret my dears…. I am here with a brand-new one for your reading pleasure!!

Mondays can be long days. This Monday felt extra long. Hectic work, plus M’s teacher ‘back-to-school’ week, plus a sudden disappearance of our regular daycare resulting in Pop-Pop and V spending a lot of time together. PLUS an earlier rising time, minus my glorious 8 weeks of sleeping in until 6:30 (practically unheard of!). Plus the fact that it is Monday.

This resulted in me feeling like I forgot to have a shower by the end of the day. Isn’t that just the worst feeling ever? The humidity doesn’t help either. So as I am driving the Expressway home I am contemplating a dilemma…shower or Gym, shower or Gym, steamy long hot shower with coconut body wash and clean hair or Gym.

The shower won. It was delicious…. out I came, clean hair, body delicately scented like coconut and so so so very clean.

That shower put me in the best mood. M and V came home from picking up dinner stuff and Little Man was scooped up into my arms, snuggled within an inch of his life and then fed some yummy dinner. Tonight’s meal: Oven Gold Boars Head turkey, Organic cheddar cheese, sauteed zucchini and mushrooms and sweet potato french fries. Fresh watermelon for dessert.

Post dinner, off we headed to the bedroom for a strip-down and a plunk in the tub. Who knew that my leisurely evening was about to come to an end!

I played games with V as I stripped him down to his diaper on the changing table. An aroma arose from the groinal region that immediately exited the room and headed for the kitchen to assault M’s nostrils. “Jame!! What’s that smell?!?! It’s awful!!” he shouted from the other room.

“M! V’s got a present for you!! But you have to come in here to get it!” I shouted back…. he did not fall for that old trick… neither would I.

I opened that diaper and encountered the foulest thing ever seen in a  diaper in the history of Mankind. Also the foulest smelling thing. Foul.

Not to V though!! He shrieked with delight and happily stuffed both hands down that diaper and went straight for the bits. Which were covered. That’s how awful this diaper was. It was a full-on “Strap your child to the changing table and use both hands” kind of clean up.

Oh. My. God. His hands were covered in poo and he was laughing hysterically. He was having the best time ever!! I, on the other hand, was freaking out. And screaming things like “NANANANANANANA! V!!!!!! Nonononono! Oh my god, oh god…. oh holy god….etc etc”.

M, was happily (pretend) oblivious in the kitchen. He states he heard nothing. Bastard.

Anyways, off we went at arms length to the tub. The one time I didn’t want to cradle that little bum while I walk him naked as a jaybird (him, not me) over to the tub and dunk him in. I did not want to touch that part of his body.

What follows was fastest bath in the history of the human race. It might have even been faster than the previous fastest bath (that one that followed the infamous ‘poop in tub’ incident).

Bedtime followed at an even faster pace!

xoxo a.m.

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Not Poop

baby1-blog

I am really going to make an effort to not talk about poop as often as I see seem to find myself doing it lately. There is at least one more story that I could add to the growing list of bowel-movement related posts. Since that was my topic of choice last night, I thought I would spare you the details and focus on something else…

V learned something new this evening! Well, it was the first time I have seen it, so it’s new to me. M will probably say that he’s been doing it for years (slight exaggeration)… but it was the first time I have actively seen him do it.

He has mastered the art of taking things out of other things and off of things as well. As in, out of the toy box and onto the floor. And out of the wagon and onto the floor. Oh, and off of the book shelf and onto the floor. Oh, I almost forgot, AND off of his highchair tray and onto the floor.

You see the pattern? The floor is heavily featured.

Tonight I watched him as he methodically put things into things. He has a little basketball-like net in his bath-tub and I watched him as he carefully filled it up with items. Then removed them and threw them on the floor (I mean tub). And then picked them up and put them in again. This went on and on for ages.

It was the most interesting thing to watch. And I really could just watch him play forever. It is captivating. He kept trying to stack round objects on top of each other and then would grunt with frustration when they fell off. Finally he caught on and stacked some flat things in there first, piled round things into the flat things and then topped them off with some more round things. Genius!!!!!

And then he pulled them all out and threw them into the tub.

And then repeated the whole process over again.

I actually could see him learning, it really was amazing. He problem-solved. Unbelievable. He repeated himself over and over (just like his Mama….I knew there was a little bit of me in there somewhere!)

Genius!

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Wet

wet-blog

Things to not do.

Do not, in your new motherhood-cockiness, undress your 13 month-old in his crib and let him play naked for a few minutes while the tub is filling.

It will lead to disaster, believe me.

I know you know where this is leading, so I won’t bore you with too many details.

V is always ecstatic to be naked. He likes to roll around his crib naked, lolling around on his back with his legs up in the air….. giggling the whole time. Inevitably those chubby little fingers find their way down to ‘the bits’. More giggling ensues… followed by a lot of stretching, pulling and tugging. And giggling

So I left him to his playing and giggling and went to go and check the tub. When I came back, he was standing up, one hand on the (gnawed within an inch of it’s life) crib rail and another clutched around his best friends. With a pleased and relaxed look on his face.

I had a sneaking suspicion as to what had happen. A suspicion that was quickly confirmed as my fingers encountered a warm puddle in the sheets.

*Sigh*

Never a dull moment over here!

M took V swiftly out of the crib and ran him over to the filled tub….. and as he ran, he turned and shouted over his shoulder “I can’t believe you thought that would be a good idea! Jame….. seriously. Changing table equals water-proof…”.

What was I thinking? I guess I was thinking that we hadn’t had any accidents yet, so I thought things were under control. Silly me.

I think at least one of these instances has to happen every week, otherwise M and I will grow too complacent. However, to be honest, they rarely seem to happen to him. Just me.

My life will be filled with pee and poop for the next several years. Eventually I will tire of posting….. not yet….but sometime soon.

It is still rather funny to me…

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Shinchan

pee-blog

Post-work, my evening started with a really nice meal with my in-laws…. I felt so spoiled. My mother-in-law chopped yummy things up for V, dumped it on his high chair tray and the whole time I drank a glass of wine. Bliss. Spoiled bliss.

Home for a bath before bedtime….

Bath-time goes like this:

1) Deposit small child in crib (scream scream scream), go to bathroom across the hall and start bath

2) Make faces across the hall at little man while tub fills (V jumps endlessly and shrieks happily in crib)

3) Lay towel across toilet seat, strip V naked (watch him giggle and roll around in his crib as apparently naked is the best thing ever)

4) Carry naked baby to bathroom, play peek-a-boo in mirror, deposit baby in tub. Commence play-time.

Usually after 10 or 15 minutes, bath-time is over, we hit the towel and head back to the changing table for diaper, pj’s and story-time.

Tonight, tub-time was funnier than it usually is…. V only wanted to stand. I’ve gotten used to this, and deal with it. I would prefer him to sit nicely, but who are we kidding over here. He is just too active for sitting nicely. Please pray that M and I have a daughter that will sit and play. Nicely.

So standing in the tub, he reachs towards the washcloth that I have draped over the faucet-guard (that is a duck in a firefighters costume). He rips the cloth off, shrieks ‘Daa!!!’, which I think means ‘duck’ and throws the cloth in the tub. He stares down at it, picks it up (it is sopping wet now) and puts it back on the ducks head. Water goes everywhere….. Me, floor, dog, pants, hair, face…..everywhere…

He then rips the wash cloth back off and deposits it back in the tub (of course shrieking ‘Daa!’ while he is doing this). He looks at it again, quite intently this time, then (as he is my son) he pees on it. For a long time. Kind of a ‘I saved this up especially for the moment when you removed my diaper’ kind of thing.

THEN, he reaches down, grabs the cloth (which is sopping wet with pee and water) and flings it upward. Urine flies everywhere. Across my face, down my front, dripping over my lips. I realize that it was mixed with water, but I did just watch him pee on that cloth and then fling it into my face…. I must really love my son.

Now, granted this was no triple-poop morning ala my friend with her darling girl….. but… urine in the mouth. Maybe that trumps a triple-poop? Pee all over the face, in the mouth and down the front of my whole body. And V looking rather pleased with himself.

Of course he did! He is his fathers son after all….

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Secret club

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I just started reading “The Happiest Toddler on the Block” in an effort to prepare myself for what will certainly happen and/or what is already happening.

The whole tag line of the book is “How to eliminate tantrums and raise a patient, respectful and cooperative child”. Now this sounds like a great plan to me! We’ve dabbled a bit in the tantrum pool… just a bit… However, if V is a combination of M and I, then for sure we will have some huge issues with stubbornness (me) and argumentativeness (M). Ok, both of those apply to both of us.

So far it is interesting. Basically it states that toddlers are like cavemen because their little brains are too immature (with patience, logic and language). It discusses key ways to communicate with children in order to decrease poor behavior. Some things I feel a little unsure about… it’s a tricky issue to tackle!

I mean, I see the point that Dr Karp is making, but at the same time I am unsure if I seriously am capable of doing the following:

Vincent says ” You want! You want! You want…. want…. WANT!! You want bottle now, right now!! But wait a minute honey, first we need to sit in our highchair before we have the bottle”.

Am I really capable of speaking like this? Without feeling like a total retard?! Not sure….

Toddler-ese is what this is called, and apparently (according to this book) it is quite effective. Is it?

I desperately hope so, especially as I am reading the ‘success’ stories and am imagining V and I as the end result of these stories. Minus the ‘ese’. Well, there might be a little bit of ‘ese in the house, but in public? That is where I feel a little bit iffy…

And lets ignore the fact that I already point and narrate everything when I am out in public with V. And sing songs. And blow raspberries. And really could care less who sees or hears me do all of these ridiculous things. Reading this book about advocating this sort of behavior times 50 makes me….well….laugh actually.

It makes me laugh as is is the greatest thing ever to glance across at another mum and realize that she is pretty much exactly on your path. As different as all of us mums look, we are all reading, doing and pretty much thinking the same thing. ALL THE TIME. How refreshing is it to know that you are not the only one reading and thinking these things.

It is a lovely secret membership and I welcome it. And am grateful for that unspoken support… xoxo to all my mums out there from a.m.

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Potato (PoTAto)

potato-blog

Potato. Sometimes I hate you.

I really love you. Mashed. Fried. Hashed. Deep-fried. Really however you are served. Boiled too.

This evening I arrived home from work to find dinner preparations in full swing. Things were being boiled and stirred in the kitchen. Pans were being rattled around. The tap was being turned on and off. Repeatedly. And V was wailing away in his high-chair, clutching his bottle, naked (except for a diaper) with his damp hair sticking up…

Apparently he had just had a bath. And M thought it would be a good idea to stick him in his high-chair diaper-clad.

And then make him mashed potatoes.

Now I know more women than men are reading this. Well, I am pretty sure anyways….. But lets follow the logic on this one….. fresh from the tub, squeaky-clean, that lovely baby smooth skin…

I am sure that the first thing that you are thinking about is how feeding your child mashed potatoes without a bib is maybe the best idea ever!

I returned from my run (luckily) just post-potato fest.

V. Was. Covered.

Hair. Toes. Diaper. High chair. Diaper. Nose (up). Face. Ears. etc etc.

I carried him to the bathroom at arms length, and stripped him down on the bath mat. A trail of mashed potato followed us, quickly eaten by Chewie. A little got rubbed into the bathmat I bought from Ikea a few weeks ago. Potato plus lime green equals poor colour management. Anyways, happily the tub was still full.

Oh wait. I mean unhappily it was still full of dirty, brown cold water. Awesome. So a naked V happily played with cold mashed potatoes that were flaking off his body on our bathroom floor, while Mummy refilled the tub. I might have cursed M just a little. I might have ended up with potato in my hair. And somehow in my armpit…. not sure how it got there, but I am not surprised. Things seem to turn up unexpectedly these days. Zucchini in diaper, potato in armpit. That’s how it goes….

We are still running in full-on teething mode. 4 coming in. Drool. Tantrums ahoy! And the most awesome crying, flailing back-bends you have ever seen in your life!!

Good times over here in Orlando… I think it might take a while until I love potato again…

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