Tag Archives: accident

Tell me

Why-blog

Friday saw Little Man and I at the Doctor’s office for his 15 month check. 28 1/4 lbs. 31 1/2 inches….Big boy.

And fungal rash on the ‘extremities’. And we officially need an epi-pen for his peanut allergy. And have been instructed to carry Benadryl as a ‘just in case’ measure.

So just another day over here….

Of course we had our regular round of shots as well. I am a pro-shot mama. Unlike my lovely Canadian sisters, I have never had the luxury of 1 year of maternity leave and have needed full-time daycare since he was 10 weeks old. Hence the pro-shot life-style… Low grade fever last night and a full on crank-funk since Friday. Comes with the territory 🙂 Yay!

And that has been combined with a lovely new experience. An experience that I am hoping that is a new faze?! And I am hoping that mums out there will share and shed some light on this.

V is currently embroiled in this faze of “Mummy, I don’t like this food… I think I will shake my head ‘no’ and then spit it out”.

And that is all he has been doing since Friday. Putting things in his mouth, shaking his head no and either spitting it out or removing it with his hands. And then giving it to the dog. The dog has been so well fed for the last few days. Lucky dog!

The first day that this happened, I attributed it to the shots. Immunizations always come with a wee side-effect…low grade fever, irritableness , cranky pants, fuss faces….etc…

But this is the first time that super non-eating has been involved. Which makes me wonder if it is just age related instead.

In spite of all of the yummy things I have made him:

*Gluten-free turkey and cheese melty sandwiches

*Wheat-free raspberry pancakes

*Veggie patties with sauteed zucchini, mushrooms and fresh cherry tomatoes

*Fresh mozzarella cheese, cucumber and a assortment of fresh veggies

Everything enters the mouth and then exits it at a fast pace. Mostly on the floor, mostly eaten by the dog and mostly accompanied by head shaking…

The last 3 days have been mostly ‘sippy cup’ days. This is frustrating. Please God, let this be a ‘stage.’

Is it a stage at 15 months? The ‘non-eating’, I hate everything, back-bending screaming if you try to feed me anything stage?

Really? Please? Tell me….

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Pee

IMG_6696

Unflattering picture of me covered in pee. Thanks Mike!!

Just a quickie about a lovely incident that happened this weekend.

A post gym incident. One that might involve baby bodily fluid(s).

Home from the gym, I puttered around for a little while. V was down for a nap, always the best time to get things done, right? To get a lot of things done. As maybe things as possible, in fact. So still in my gym clothes, I manic-cleaned and organized things. And then sat down for 2 minutes.

Right on cue, V began wailing, as he often does on waking up from his nap. Sometimes it is just heart-wrenching to hear. Why is he so upset? No idea. But he is. Very. About 75% of the time post-nap. I opened his bedroom door to find him sitting in the middle of his crib eyes shut, crying, tears everywhere.

I scooped him up, cuddled and made some shooshing noises and off we went to the kitchen to get a bottle. The crying did not stop, however.

If anything it got progressively loudly. Now this was unusual.

Bottle was pushed away with extra force and the motion was punctuated by a louder (if possible) and more upset sounding wail.

Oh my.

And unfortunately this sort of thing kind of makes me laugh, so laughing a bit, we head over to an armchair with bottle held hidden behind back. Perhaps we need more of a cosy cuddle, I think. And settle down with him by the living-room window, in the armchair. His little legs are tucked around my waist (on either side) and his arms are hugging me. We are face to face, torso to torso and he is still crying.

A lot of back patting and rubbing commences, as does sweet shushing and some discussions about how maybe we might want some bottle now? (the answer was no, by the way… quite firmly too).

I love holding him like this, even if he is crying, so despite that I am enjoying myself immensely.

And then I feel something. Something warm. I takes me a minute to realize what it is.

While the answer may be clear to some of you (knowing my child and his escapades), it wasn’t to me immediately. Reason being that for about 5 seconds there, I swear I was peeing on my own armchair. Really.

Actually, what was happening is that with the position that V and I were in, he was peeing on me, but it was aimed pretty much right where I would be doing the same thing. He was peeing on me where I pee. Which made it feel like I was peeing.

WHICH I WAS NOT.

And then he stopped crying.

Oh, and he was wearing a diaper. A diaper put on by his father. Might as well have been naked.

Up I got. Slowly. I was trying to not let pee drip everywhere. Yelling for M the whole time. While I pidgeon-toed walked to V’s bedroom with him clutched in my arms and ‘not my own pee’ dripping down my thighs, M cleaned the chair and then ran after me with the camera taking pictures of the 2 of us and laughing uncontrollably.

Bastard.

I hope sometimes that I am not the only one having this bodily fluid experiences. Please? And also, I hope that someone else also has a ridiculous husband like mine. I can’t possibly be the only one…

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Toilet

toilet-blog

Pretty much what my afternoon looked like, just with pants on instead...

Things I did this afternoon:

Wrestled my 14 month old son away from the toilet.

Really.

He just ‘discovered’ it this afternoon and learned how to lift the lid. This was cute the first time. Then, as he lifted and dropped it repeatedly, it suddenly was not entertaining.

And then, as I looked over at him and saw that he had a whole arm down the toilet (I swear I looked away for about 1/2 a second), it was at the lowest level on non-entertaining. Right at the very bottom level.

So as I rush over to the toilet and drag that little arm out of it (and then soap that arm up, scrub it to an inch of it’s life and dry it on a super clean towel), I thought things like “M! Where are you!!” and “Must shut all bathroom doors from now on”.

As I dragged him (metaphorically speaking) out of the bathroom, he threw a full-on fit.

Kicking, screaming, wailing, back-arching etc. I could hardly believe that this huge of a fuss was being throw over the toilet. The toilet!! I mean really!!

But regardless, it was a huge fit.

As I was carrying him away from the toilet (laughing), I wondered what would be the next step in this little impish boy’s life. Approximately 3 hours later I learned that it would be actual steps…

V took his first unsupported steps this evening. At first from the middle of our walk-in closet to Daddy (as that was where they were playing). He did that a couple of times while M and I stared in disbelief.

Then, once I got in the closet with him, M encouraged him to walk towards me. He took 4 steps to me, before falling into my arms… Did I win the lottery? I just might have….

The lottery of love, that is…. it was all rather overwhelming…

M and I just looked at each other… our days are numbered…

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Shower

Me, earlier during my epic Monday shower....

Me, earlier during my epic Monday shower....

Its been a while since I posted about poop.

Happily , our household has been free of poop-related incidences. For a while there they were happening a little too frequently for my taste.

Don’t fret my dears…. I am here with a brand-new one for your reading pleasure!!

Mondays can be long days. This Monday felt extra long. Hectic work, plus M’s teacher ‘back-to-school’ week, plus a sudden disappearance of our regular daycare resulting in Pop-Pop and V spending a lot of time together. PLUS an earlier rising time, minus my glorious 8 weeks of sleeping in until 6:30 (practically unheard of!). Plus the fact that it is Monday.

This resulted in me feeling like I forgot to have a shower by the end of the day. Isn’t that just the worst feeling ever? The humidity doesn’t help either. So as I am driving the Expressway home I am contemplating a dilemma…shower or Gym, shower or Gym, steamy long hot shower with coconut body wash and clean hair or Gym.

The shower won. It was delicious…. out I came, clean hair, body delicately scented like coconut and so so so very clean.

That shower put me in the best mood. M and V came home from picking up dinner stuff and Little Man was scooped up into my arms, snuggled within an inch of his life and then fed some yummy dinner. Tonight’s meal: Oven Gold Boars Head turkey, Organic cheddar cheese, sauteed zucchini and mushrooms and sweet potato french fries. Fresh watermelon for dessert.

Post dinner, off we headed to the bedroom for a strip-down and a plunk in the tub. Who knew that my leisurely evening was about to come to an end!

I played games with V as I stripped him down to his diaper on the changing table. An aroma arose from the groinal region that immediately exited the room and headed for the kitchen to assault M’s nostrils. “Jame!! What’s that smell?!?! It’s awful!!” he shouted from the other room.

“M! V’s got a present for you!! But you have to come in here to get it!” I shouted back…. he did not fall for that old trick… neither would I.

I opened that diaper and encountered the foulest thing ever seen in a  diaper in the history of Mankind. Also the foulest smelling thing. Foul.

Not to V though!! He shrieked with delight and happily stuffed both hands down that diaper and went straight for the bits. Which were covered. That’s how awful this diaper was. It was a full-on “Strap your child to the changing table and use both hands” kind of clean up.

Oh. My. God. His hands were covered in poo and he was laughing hysterically. He was having the best time ever!! I, on the other hand, was freaking out. And screaming things like “NANANANANANANA! V!!!!!! Nonononono! Oh my god, oh god…. oh holy god….etc etc”.

M, was happily (pretend) oblivious in the kitchen. He states he heard nothing. Bastard.

Anyways, off we went at arms length to the tub. The one time I didn’t want to cradle that little bum while I walk him naked as a jaybird (him, not me) over to the tub and dunk him in. I did not want to touch that part of his body.

What follows was fastest bath in the history of the human race. It might have even been faster than the previous fastest bath (that one that followed the infamous ‘poop in tub’ incident).

Bedtime followed at an even faster pace!

xoxo a.m.

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Lip-balm

blistex-blog

August is officially the month of Japan.

For those who aren’t ‘in the know’, M and I lived in Japan for about 3 years.

We met. We saw. We loved. We conquered.

M and I kept our relationship a secret for quite a while… once we started dating, that is…

We were outed in the randomest of ways. Mostly due to Sohee. Thanks Sohee!!

Every night in Hamamatsu in the early 2000’s meant hitting up Amigo’s Bar. Amigos was the Gaijin Hotspot in the city. Even if you didn’t want to go there, wanted to maybe try out something different…. you still ended up there at the end of the night. Drunk.

Or you started out the night there, got lured in by Paul (the owner) and then never ever left. Suddenly it was 8 am. You have been there 12 hours, are starving and your boss drives past as you are leaving and waves (future conversation regarding how you are such an early risier).

So, early in our courtship M and I start out the night there. Meeting a bunch of friends.

I remember riding our bikes there… pausing for a make-out session….applying some lip balm, and then heading in. Who would know that lip-balm would play such a huge part in our life.

Did you know that some lipbalm glows in the dark? Well, Sohee thought she would be a sweet girl and point that out. We denied it as firmly as we could.

“I lent him some”…. I think that was my big statement. And I thought that we both were rather convincing. When you’ve been riding a bike with a beer in one hand (as you do, in your twenties in a foreign country), it is easy to imagine that everyone will believe you. And if they don’t, then clearly they must be crazy.

So there we were, in Amigos, with glowing lips. And Sohee asking us both “Um, why are your lips glowing?”

Damn her and her intuitive eyes… And damn me and my crap excuses. My extemely unconvincing excuses, poor eye contact (which probably ruined any credibility that I might have had… excuse wise I mean…) and damning body language. Leaning into someone that you are currently romancing is a very obvious sign that you are… you know…

Well, anyways…. this is just a wee intro to a lovely month of Japan reminiscence…

Please stay tuned for all things romantic and Japanese.

xoxo a.m.

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Wet

wet-blog

Things to not do.

Do not, in your new motherhood-cockiness, undress your 13 month-old in his crib and let him play naked for a few minutes while the tub is filling.

It will lead to disaster, believe me.

I know you know where this is leading, so I won’t bore you with too many details.

V is always ecstatic to be naked. He likes to roll around his crib naked, lolling around on his back with his legs up in the air….. giggling the whole time. Inevitably those chubby little fingers find their way down to ‘the bits’. More giggling ensues… followed by a lot of stretching, pulling and tugging. And giggling

So I left him to his playing and giggling and went to go and check the tub. When I came back, he was standing up, one hand on the (gnawed within an inch of it’s life) crib rail and another clutched around his best friends. With a pleased and relaxed look on his face.

I had a sneaking suspicion as to what had happen. A suspicion that was quickly confirmed as my fingers encountered a warm puddle in the sheets.

*Sigh*

Never a dull moment over here!

M took V swiftly out of the crib and ran him over to the filled tub….. and as he ran, he turned and shouted over his shoulder “I can’t believe you thought that would be a good idea! Jame….. seriously. Changing table equals water-proof…”.

What was I thinking? I guess I was thinking that we hadn’t had any accidents yet, so I thought things were under control. Silly me.

I think at least one of these instances has to happen every week, otherwise M and I will grow too complacent. However, to be honest, they rarely seem to happen to him. Just me.

My life will be filled with pee and poop for the next several years. Eventually I will tire of posting….. not yet….but sometime soon.

It is still rather funny to me…

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WME

happybaby-blog

I got home today thinking that things were pretty much in order….

Sped home, picked up V, dashed to Publix and got home at a reasonable time. 6 pm. Not too shabby!

Dinner preparations began. First some peas….

I heated them up, cooled them off a little, walked over to him and slowly spilled them onto his highchair top. He giggled. I guess the sight of all those peas rolling around was quite funny.

Peas are his new favorite vegetable to eat whole. He happily picks them off his tray and stuffs them into his little mouth. During this stuff-in time, I add some cubed Edam cheese while I heat up a veggie pattie in the microwave.

My new favorite foods for him are from *surprise* WholeFoods! I know thats a huge shocker… But they do have the best gluten/wheat free selection I have found in town, and also have an interesting selection of gluten-free toddler food.

My current favorite? HappyBaby‘s HappyBites. The veggie-tots are what are currently swinging around our kitchen…

I cooled the veggie-tot down on the counter, pick ed it up and hand delivered it to V’s table, to his apparent delight.

One piece in. No problem. And chewed to evident delight.

Number 2 hit that little mouth and the screams that issued after could seriously have woken the dead. I spun around, only to see V clawing at his little mouth.

Oh. My. God.

I quickly figured out that it was just too hot for that tender little palate. I swear I temperature tested it before hand…. bad mummy. I felt so horrible. That little face was so red and those little eyes were clenched shut. I did an ‘extraction’…. which means that I scooped that little mess right out of his mouth. Oh man. There was a hidden chunk of potato that was hotter than everything else. Oh that poor little mouth…

But problem solved… he has such a good temperament that he quickly moved past it and went on to stuff something else in there. Oh great. Same thing. Veggie tots. Hot.

Scream. Wail. Shriek. Claw at face. Turn red. Awesome.

By this time I was almost crying myself…. more mad at myself than anything. How could I have missed that piece that was slightly hotter than everything else? So much for my temperature testing skills…..

And then…..*sigh* it happened again.

Clearly I can’t tell temperature at all. Seriously!

This time it was so hot that those little chubby fists shook with frustration while those finger tried to claw everything out of that mouth.

Again, how did I miss this. Or was it just hot enough that, piled on top of the other hot things it pushed everything over the limit.

I felt awful. AWFUL.

Bad mummy. I completely checked everything temperature-wise…. perhaps I just…. oh… I don’t know…. I still feel awful. I gave him some ice-cream to cool that little mouth of his down. We brushed his teeth and off he went to bed.

Worst Mummy Ever. Total WME event. Embarrassingly enough, on top of all of this I felt the need to share this with random Internet-slash-family.

Clearly I am just looking for punishment…

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Brick-like

bricks-blog

I just got a chunk of waffle tossed into my hair.

Since this is not breakfast-time, I know you are surprised. I was.

It was unearthed in Chewies Dog-bed (which really is a cat-bed. Even though he’s a dog). Chewie has this tendency to bury things he won’t eat in his little bed.  I just found it a few minutes ago and thought it was funny. Ever since M became ‘Mr Mum’ I have found a lot of random bits of food all over the house.

Now part of it might be that we are doing a lot of ‘wheat-free’ cooking. Tapioca bread and wheat-free waffles. Tapioca bread does not toast well. If you make it golden brown, that actually means ‘brick’ in the language of toast.

And M is such a good Mr Mum. He toasts things to perfection, a lovely golden-brown. Which might make for deliciousness in our wheat-filled world. But actually means ‘cobble my sidewalk with your toast pieces’ in the land of the wheat-free.

I have accidentally stepped on it. I know. It is as hard as a m-f’er.

Apparently Chewie is not interested in our new wheat-free life-style. In the evenings, when I am home and M is off at his summer evening job of serving…. I find little morsels in corners of all the rooms. Waffles in the living-room. Biscuits in the bedroom. Toast everywhere. Chewie hates toast. Well, wheat-free toast anyways.

At least, this wheat -free toast. I think he would have liked what V was eating in Canada. We needed a dog in Canada to clean up the mess V made.

So, unbeknowest to V, wheat-free sucks. It sucks as even the dog won’t eat it.

And then, Chewie did something that surprised me. In retrospect though, it shouldn’t have.

He ate the waffle. So I guess, in hindsight, it wasn’t that bad. I just wish M hadn’t thrown it at me first……

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Bloody lip

maracas-blog2

I have a split lip, courtesy of my son.

Let me backtrack a little….. V and Pop-Pop hung-out Friday(as a result of a day-care  scheduling issue). M worked the usual 2 jobs. I didn’t eat lunch (for the 3rd time this week), left early and relieved Pop-Pop from grandson-duty.

Off V and I went to pick up birthday party supplies…. Oh, I am getting soooooo excited about his birthday. I know all he is going to do is ignore everything, look overwhelmed, cry and smear cake all over everything. And maybe swim in the pool. Again, I am so excited.

So Friday evening was the usual…. usual dinner, usual bath, usual struggle to strap a diaper onto that little fat bum. Usual everything. During diaper-changing, I usually give him a toy to play with to distract him while I wipe the tush and slap that diaper on. Today his toy was a maraca.

Big mistake.

Seriously, it really was.

The first sign was when he learned to how to shake it. So adorable really, a baby shaking a maraca. And the look on his face while he was doing it was priceless. Even though he has had the toy for ages, this was the first time he realized that he could make it make noise.

And make noise he did. And about 25 minutes later I started to regret giving it to him (mostly after I got hit in the head repeatedly by that darn thing)…. but when I tried to take it away, he cried (and so I gave it back).

During that whole “Can Mummy have the maraca??” I got headbutted in the mouth and split my lip. Holy Mother does V ever have a hard head. It didn’t seem to faze him at all though, and this morning (Saturday) when he woke up there were no signs on that huge head of his that he had ever slammed it into my teeth at all.

I think perhaps he is impervious to pain. Or he has a really thick skull…Or both.  I can’t believe that his head made me bleed and he didn’t even notice that the whole event occurred. Although considering how much he is like his father, I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised that he didn’t notice… I think sometimes that M wouldn’t notice if the house was on fire around him, especially if some sort of  cooking program is on while the house is burning down. He would definetly stay until that end of the show, while V, Chewie and I waited patiently on the front lawn.

Chip off the old block, eh?

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Floater

bathtub-blog

**Warning** **Warning**

This post contains explicit details, mostly focused around baby poop. And if that ain’t your cup of tea, then turn back now brothers and sisters….

Flashback to earlier today….. busy day. Not only did we go to the community-wide garage sale with my mother-in-law, but as soon as we were done there, V and I hit the road again. Up to Winter Garden to celebrate my best friend’s daughter’s 5th birthday.

It was a birthday extravaganza! And V’s first party as well. Pizza, cake, friends, balloons, sandboxes, swings….. it was so much fun. Little man out in the sunshine, flirting with the ladies (as he has been known to do).

Let me add that there were no naps taken at all today. A little foreshadowing for y’all….

Anyways, post-party we arrive home in a jolly mood. Which is surprising. Regardless……dinner, dessert and bath prep (to remove the sunscreen and sand). Pre-bath and post-dinner there was rather a lot of grunting which only means one thing. And you know what I mean. And if you don’t, it means poop.

Post poop and naked, I swept him off to the bathroom for some fun in the tub.

He loves his baths. LOVES! His baths. He was splashing happily away… and in the middle of that splashing started grunting again. (good lord, was all I could mentally say…)

I just looked at him in disbelief. Really, I was thinking that it couldn’t possibly be what I was thinking. We were having a bath, after all…

Well, shortly after…. and I do mean shortly, I discovered the reason for the grunting. And that would be poop. Poop floating in my tub.

My reaction? Instant laughter. V makes me laugh so much. Well, I guess motherhood really does…. anyways, I must have laughed so much that it upset V! He started crying! Crying in a tub full of poop. Which made me laugh more. See the vicious cycle??

So I picked him up out of the tub (oh, and I was home alone….. this always happens when I am home alone) and rushed him off to his crib. Naked. Naked and crying. Awesome.

Off I went to fish out the poop and sanitize the tub. How fun (I like sarcasm in case you didn’t know). So I fished and cleaned the tub out. Meanwhile, back in the crib, V was jumping away having the time of his life. Why did I feel like the bath was unfinished business?

And back to the tub we went…….

As soon as we entered the bathroom, he started wailing and that should have been a sign.  I was determined to give him a complete bath, apparently….

As soon as I plunked him back in the tub, he started wailing more. And as soon as he started fussing,  poop started floating again. Oh lord when would it ever end!

Apparently never. There was a poop reservoir which I found out about with the 2nd bath. Unexpected. It was a quick bath (a whole 10 seconds). Poop floated. V went back into the crib (happily I might add).

And the evening quickly drew to a close.

I fished poop out of the tub times 2. I sanitized the tub times 2. I made my child cry times 2. Oh, and I clogged the toilet up with the floating poo when I tried to flush it the first time. Awesome. Clogged toilet. Floating poops. Crying.

Wonderful.

And on top of all of this, I forgot to pay rent. It’s like a double bonus!

I just thought I would share my most wonderful afternoon/evening with y’all…. night!

DON’T click here, you will learn too much about poo  (I googled floater and this is what came up)

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