Category Archives: honey

Sometimes we have the oddest battles…

Annoyed with Edward's shorts in the sink again, I got ready for a night out on the town...

And I am sure that’s true for everyone, actually. Not just parents of little ones, but parents of big ones, non-parents, married couples, non-married couples. Everyone.

Years ago I can remember getting just furious with Edward because he left his shorts in the bathroom sink. Why would you leave YOUR SHORTS in the sink?! I was so mad. Yesterday, I got back from the gym, stripped and plunked my sports bra in the sink. And in my self-defense it’s because it’s bright purple, has a tendency to run and I don’t trust Edward to do laundry properly.

About 2 years ago, I remember (yes, it’s all Edward’s fault) being SO MAD at him because he would use my facecloth to wipe off his freshly shorn head. And then, not only did he not rinse it off, but he hung it back. Leaving me, unsuspectingly , to encounter it early morning while washing my face, leaving me covered in dark hair. I looked like one of the wolf people.

Tonight with Vince, it was something just plain bizarre. He was terribly wound up when I picked him up at my in-laws. And had been stuffing himself with turkey pepperoni and provolone. He chattered away happily to himself in the backseat as we drove back to our house:

“My head went boop! And then my hair was all gone. Mummy! My hair! It’s not der! It’s aaallllll gone. Uh-oh, I found one! My hairs! Der back!” etc etc

Back at our sweet pad, he dashed around like a crazed monkey. I managed to squeeze some yogurt into him and half a (don’t judge) corn-dog. He announced “I no want to eat, I wanna do a puzzle”.

So we trotted upstairs with some milk, got our pj’s on, got all ready for a puzzle session. We read a bedtime book, put on Cat Stevens and flipped off the lights. And then V flipped out.

“I want my dinnnnnnnner! I want my macaroniiiiiiiiiii! I need my dinner!”

“I want my peas and corn. Mummy, I need my peas and corn Mummy! I NEED MY PEAS AND CORN!!!”

Holy moly, where did this come from? Why on earth are peas and corn the sudden subject of a torrential downpour? And then, just like the rain in Florida, it stopped.

And it made me laugh. I waited, of course, until I’d left the room. I had to wait at least a day to laugh at Edward’s damn shorts in the sink. And maybe 20 minutes, post-wolf-face.

Sometimes the oddest battles are the best, partially because they make the greatest stories. And great stories are the cement of awesome relationships. We got some damn good cement over here….

xoxo a.m.

 

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Passive aggressive arguing via Pirate…

I have, from time to time, a few bones to pick with the husband. Excusing that he does work 2 jobs, rarely has a whole day off and get approx one morning a week to sleep in, he is a pain in my ass.

Like, I imagine, all of your husbands are. And if they are not, there seriously must be something wrong with your relationship. Even though I am sure they all do awesome stuff, just like mine, I seriously swear they also all have no clue at all.

Mine will literally leave pieces of actual garbage around the house and not notice them. He will walk over them. I have actually seen him walk through a pile of dirt I have just swept up, kicking it as he walks through it. Not noticing at all.

First time (yes, he’s don’t it more than once), I shouted “Oh COME ON!!” You’ve got to be kidding me!!” I mean, its not as if all paths lead right to the dirt. There were other routes he could have taken. He, honestly, just doesn’t notice.

But, I have solved the problem. And I am pretty sure you will be extremely impressed with how I handled it.

Yesterday, Vince and I got home from HomeDepot and Edward had left just a few minutes prior. The house was a disaster. One, I am sure, he hadn’t even noticed. And I had had enough.

After cleaning THE WHOLE ENTIRE HOUSE, while entertaining a 3 YEAR OLD CHILD and FEEDING HIM DINNER.

I very gracefully wrote a note in a sort of pseudo-pirate type language and propped in up in the fridge, next to ‘dinner’.

Late last night, E woke me up on his crawl into bed. He muttered something. I don’t remember what it was, but it wasn’t about pirates. This morning on my way to work, Edward called, asked after how the rest of my morning had gone, arrived at work and did not mention pirates.

Don’t worry, I brought it up.

“Hun, did a pirate leave you a message in the fridge last night?”

“Ummhmm, seemed to be making a good point too.”

“Are you planning on listening to him? He seemed rather forceful..”

“Clearly I do. It is obviously in my best interests.”

It obviously is. Jackpot!! All suggestions will now be delivered via pirate. I highly recommend.

xoxo a.m.

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Filed under cleaning, epic, Geez, holy mother, home improvement, honey, house, Mad skills, parenting, pirates, pirates like cleanig, pirates make good suggestions, play, Uncategorized

Honey

A few nights ago M and I were watching Iron Chef.

I have loved this show ever since I first was introduced to it in Japan, totally drawn to not only its overly dramatic host and but also his rabid destruction of red peppers at the start of each show.

And who could resist the simpering, giggling actresses whos only contribution to the meal critique was to perkily chirp “It’s delicious! So tasty!” repeatedly.

The American version managed to retain a little of the silliness (see Alton Brown) and takes itself rather seriously. I really enjoy the serious and descriptive critiques of each dish.

The other night we were watching Iron Chef: Super Chef Battle and the theme ingredient was vegetables from the White House garden.

The chefs all met at the White House, were greeted by Michelle Obama and then directed to the garden.

Now that is one hell of a garden. Every single vegetable was basically a textbook example of what that particular veggie should look like. Everything was so green and leafy and lush. It was pretty much the exact opposite of my weed-ridden little garden in our courtyard.

I am sure they have very  clever people looking after that garden. I am actually sure that there is a whole army of people who tend to that garden. I wish they could send a few people down my way and rejuvenate my little piece of dirt.

I had heard about the garden, but I hadn’t heard about the bees.

Did you know that they keep bees at the White House? There is an official White House BeeKeeper. And they harvest the honey and use it in food in the WH kitchen.

And after finding that out, I haven’t been able to stop googling Bee Keeping. and reading about it. For about 5 minutes last night, I was seriously thinking about where I could put a bee hive in my courtyard.

I thought about it pretty hard and then came to the conclusion that probably, especially with V, it would not be the best of ideas. Maybe just the reality of a huge colony in my small courtyard sunk in.

Maybe if I could have a teeny tiny colony? With just enough bees to produce enough honey for my tea.

Mmmmmm, that would be nice.

And just in case you also would like to have your own colony, here is a lovely informative site that will take you through all of the necessary steps.

xoxo a.m.

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Filed under honey, Iron Chef, Michelle Obama, Uncategorized, White House