Category Archives: Home Depot

Mama drama

I am a big brave girl. At just shy of 35 (why am I telling you that? Shhhh), I finally have struck up enough courage to try to make friends with complete strangers.

It actually was a New years resolution. I resolved to meet other Mum’s in the neighbourhood (even though I am crap at chatting people up), Mums that would ideally have kiddos Vince’s age thus creating a sort of impromptu playgroup.

But honestly, when does that happen in real life. I mean, clearly it happens in the movies enough for us regular Mum’s to think that it might happen to us? Of course it would! We are exactly like all those Mum’s, right? So why wouldn’t we?

But we don’t. For whatever million reasons there are.

And so, as Vince enters the age of 3, I am looking for lady friends. With benefits. Ie: you have children.

It is a whole tricky thing. It is like A) online dating, B) a blind date and C) perhaps total insanity.

So last weekend, as I was checking out a bunch of site:s I discovered, I learned, I gained knowledge. All of those groups are pretty darn private. You have to make a huge effort to show your interest in joining. You probably are going to have to answer a tons of questions about yourself.

And so I put it all out there. All of it. In a very restrained sort of way. No way do they need to know I am a book spazz, addicted to Project Runway and Top Chef and steal dirt from my father-in-law. (Ok, he surreptitiously gives it to me. Regardless). They probably also don’t want to know that I am blogging about this.

But guess what? After the several group rejects I got, plus the “We meet on Tuesday mornings at 10 am” illuminatons, what I ended up getting acceptted into is pretty nice.

So this afternoon, I met them for the first time. A bit scary. A real huge scary. And innocently enough, it ended up being just one person that I met. And somehow that seemed to be perfect.

So despite my so-called stress over this days events, somehow it worked out just right for us.

We have been accepted. Gosh that sounds dramatic and it is! It is wonderfully dramatic. And I met a new friend.

Hurray!!’xoxo a.m.

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Sharp

It’s Spring. Spring always makes me want to clean, something that I wish would affect my husband as well…

I think it must just be that lovely fresh air. There is just something about it that makes you want to rejuvenate your whole life. Starting with your house.  Mostly your bathroom.

And so that’s where I started yesterday. Well, I initially started in Home Depot, with a gift card, the Little man, a shopping cart, a desire to teach him how to say ‘Awesome!!!” and a complete and total lack of shame.

A baby makes people do your bidding. And climb ladders. And give you stickers.

$200 later, I emerged with several stickers, a can of ‘Blueberry patch’ paint for my bathroom, a new ceiling fan that was tres expensive and new window blinds for my bathroom.

And this is where the story gets good.

It involves me, V, 3 different sized screwdrivers, the top floor of my townhouse and my eagerness to get started on my rejuvenation project.

I was pretty sure that he would entertain himself with his toys while I fussed in the bathroom. And he did for a short period of time. And then got bored and climbed into the bathtub. Happily I was working right above him, I was attempting to removing the old crappy blinds.  This room contained the only crap blind remaining from the previous owners. The only crap blind they didn’t take.

I got stuck on a stripped screw (teehee~), I guess I just physically don’t have the strength to get that mother out of the wall. But I thought I did. And I certainly made quite an effort.

Such an effort, in fact, that my feet got sweaty and slipped on the porcelain tub, which made me hip-check the wall which, in turn, dislodged part of my towel rack…

Those hips of mine are so sharp that they popped a wall fixture right out of its socket.

There is now a hole in my wall.

This was a bit of a shock. I was looking to do some renovating, but not quite as soon as this. I am holding off on any home improvements until my father-in-law sets up camp on my second floor…

Watch out. I’ve got some sharp poppers.

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Epic Lighting

As this Christmas season pulls up, M and I are gearing up for ‘YAY!’.

With our first house, we both really feel like we can really put effort into outside house decor.

So.

We went to Home Depot. And then to Lowes. And then back to Home Depot again.

Eventually we emerged with lights. The selection of lights involved us breaking out the calculator app on M’s crap phone to estimate if our choice was a ‘good buy’ or not. It was. Only took 35 minutes to decide upon.

We got home, V went down for a nap and M broke out the big ladder and started hanging lights for the FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE.

And I watched him FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.

We have no idea what we are doing. Other people on our street have such nice displays, we are rather jealous. How do they do it? Do they plan? Diagrams? Blue prints? What exactly?

Anyways, we just went and bought some stuff… And some hanger-ish things.

We had a few issues with, well, lots of stuff.

And so I was sent off to Home Depot to ask ridiculous questions while M made festive beef stew for us to enjoy in this cold Florida weather.

Ridiculous Question #1: “Where do I find a double ‘male part’ extension cord?”

Ridiculous Answer #1: “Um. They don’t exist. Did your husband hang the lights up backwards?”

Me: “Maybe. I don’t know and I am not going to ask.”

V was currently on one hip, runny nose and one sticky finger up one nostril (Yay discovery!). My other hand was clutching a few packages of window clings. I was wearing slippers.

Ridiculous Question #2: “It looks like we are going to end up with some dangling male-parts hanging from our roof. I don’t want to leave it so exposed. Is there anything I can insert it into to protect it?” (I was actually talking about extension cords. I realize I should now not ever use the term ‘male parts’ ever again)

Ridiculous Answer #2: *blank stare*

Ridiculous Answer #3: “Just use some tape.” He then shook his head and walked away.

V, our window clings and my slippers left Home Depot quickly. I called M.

“Hey. It’s me. It doesn’t exist. Ya. Next time, YOU get to ask… *click*”

Our lights are slightly crooked and not as beautifully blue-printed as some of our neighbours. And there still are ‘dangling male parts’ hanging off of my roof.

Looks so gorgeously amateur, it really couldn’t look any more beautiful.

xoxo a.m.

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Filed under amazing!, annoying, christmas, Daddy, decoration, dream, epic, exhaustion, glorious, Home Depot, Mad skills, Orlando, parenting, random, sanity, The South, total destruction, Uncategorized, Xmas, Xmas lights

Dream

dream-blog

Tonight is the last night of my ‘1 month of posting’….a month of posting that I haven’t fulfilled. I know there were 2 dates that I missed.

One by sheer lack of imagination… another by a comeplete lack of actual power. So it was 50% my fault. AND 50% not at all. Thank god (and also blame god for that last one. It really was his fault)

Things that happened this month:

I read the whole Twilight series (and then mentally married Jacob in my mind)….(and then divorced him and married Edward)…

V learned how to say ‘Bye bye’ and clap, and say ‘Uh-oh!!!’

I pretended for a whole month that I was an actual ‘I get paid for it writer’ writer…. *dream*… it was a good dream….

I got a pedicure.

I turned 33.

V became 13 months… (almost 14 now)

I ate some crab legs.

I picked numerous paint samples…

I fell in love with M all over again.

And then, I took a nap.

Looking back at it all.. it seemed that it was a good night (all in all… and by  ‘night’ I mean month…)

Looking forward to breaking in August…

xoxo a.m.

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Dinner

dinner-blog

As requested, this post is about M.

As in, “Honey, what should I write about??”

“I think you should write about how awesome your husband is.”

OK. I certainly will try.

He is pretty awesome.

He has made me dinner every night that he has been home during his summer holiday (he is a middle school teacher). And, it is always beautifully plated. And he always presents it to me from such a great height. So I have to wait until it is lowered to my eye-level to see what it is. Did I also mention that he never tells me what he is cooking?

I also am never allowed into the kitchen. Ever. While he is cooking. All cooking (by him) that goes on in our house is a surprise. And it really is! I tend to cook the same way. It’s a whole 2 veg 1 protein type of meal with me. I make home-cooking. Shepherds pie, mashed potatoes, steamed veg, casserole…. things of that nature. It is all I can cook.

I cannot do reductions.

I sometimes burn steaks just right.

I can make magical Vincent-meals.

I make a wicked Seafood salad (that doe not include mayo). Oh, and can I ever bake….

I can’t, however, make Quinoa, risotto, a proper blackened steak of any kind. Or spell that word right. Ever. I never know what wine goes with what.

I just drink red. I figure its got to fit in there somehow….

The ceremony that goes one with M’s meals is something to be seen, heard, tasted and enjoyed.

Tonight it was Pepper Pork Tenderloin, on a bed of greens with fresh peaches with a home-made Italian reduction drizzled…everywhere…

So here’s to M’s delicious cooking, my complete spoiledness, V’s future spoiledness (once we have properly developed his taste-buds, that is), our new house and future appliances that M will cook delicious things on.

Handsome husband, oh how I adore thee…. especially…well… all the time. Can’t lie there. You are pretty awesome. And put up with my OCD cleaning. And my OCD list-writing. Oh, and my OCD cleaning.

love you. xo

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Picky

You know when you finally decide to take that big step in a direction that means ‘responsibility’? It’s kind of like teetering on the edge of a cliff forever…… finally someone comes up behind you and gives you a big ol’ push over the edge. There you are….. totally free-falling, no idea what to do, with a how-to manual clutched in your hand.

“Cliff-diving for Dummies”.

Really, it’s “House-Buying for Dummies”.

I think the tenants that moved in above us finally pushed me over the edge. M, apparently, hasn’t noticed them at all. All I hear is ‘thump thump thump’. And then there are our new neighbours across the courtyard, who bbq right in front of our living-room window. Awesome. I might as well just invite myself.

I guess M and I kind of keep to ourselves. We are just private kind of people that are not on first name basis with all of our apartment neighbours. We also do not party with them. Or drink with them randomly, or really hang out with any of them at all. You wouldn’t want to either.

Now ‘house’ neighbours are a different kind of story. If you are buying, you will be friendly with your neighbours. The end.

So as we blunder, slowly, through this whole initial process it’s like my brain just wants to shut down.

I look at homes online. I email our realtor things I think we’d like. She emails me back. I talk to M about when we want to look at them….. and thats when things seem to slow down for us.

We want to. But…..we also want to do everything else but physically look at them. We also are ultra picky. And have also put a time-limit on this whole thing. We are determined to take advantage of that tax credit. And also don’t want to renew our lease, which is up in October. And also we seem to be quite picky.

We don’t mind a little bit rundown. But not too rundown. We don’t mind a foreclosure, but would prefer one that comes with a pool, a pool that is sparkling clean. A 3/2 is at the bottom of the list, but a 4/2 would be better. And all of this needs to fall into a rather srict budget, and ever stricter neighbourhood that we have outlined.

And this is all tentative. Sometimes I think to myself “What the hell are we doing?!?!”

And then I think “Oh,right. We hate renting and want a house. And are firmly in our 30’s. And have a baby. And this is the next logical step.”

And so, yet again, we are picky. And possibly (a) pain(s) in the ass (es).

*sigh* This is exhausting to even type about….

pick-it-blog

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Home Depot of Dads

dad-blog

Monday night, M and I reclining in the living room.

We have survived. 4 whole days of teething. 4 new teeth coming in. An interesting new habit I like to call ‘Tantrum”. An unfortunate lack of regular naps (he is very stubborn). Oh, and the end of the Cheezie stash in our apartment. It’s been a tough couple of days….

Regardless, we both finished a lovely dish of homemade Pad Thai, a few glasses of red wine and are watching some Burn Notice (which is our latest non-thinking evening entertainment. We watch it while I blog and M plays around on his DS…. fights Ogres, Dragons and Orcs and other things like that.

So tonight I dedicate to my darling M.

Mr Mum, as he is known this summer. Mr Mum is awesome. Every morning V and Mr Mum walk to the park to play. Every morning they meet their new dog friends, Jake and Pretty, on their way to the park. I know they have fun as the stroller comes home covered in some kind of new substance which I think is a combination of grapes, cheese and sand. It is sort of like cement (I noticed it was as I was trying to scrub it off the stroller this evening).

Breakfast and lunch are duly (and lovingly made). Outfits are hastily and poorly put together, but in a wonderful sort of way. Tops and bottoms are the opposite of matching. He would be the Dad that the other Mums in the park oooh and aah over. And bring extra snacks for. And dote on. Man, this could be trouble….. He is rather lost looking and adorable…. that’s M I mean, not V…..

He is such a good Dad. All Dads are good dads, but it is an amazing thing to watch a new Dad at work. M is unlocking abilities that I never knew exsisted in him. He is mastering new levels. His skill level is rising.

And I am playing too much  Mob Wars on FB.

Regardless, M is total Major Dad this summer. He is all schedules,  parameters and other technical terms I can’t think of right now. Everything is organized. Listed. Super organized. M is the Home Depot of organized. And the Lowes of Dads.

It’s shaping up to be an awesome hardware store-filled summer  for the boys…

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