Category Archives: faux

Change(ing)

koala-blog

I did not look like this (and neither did V) as we wrestled..... tres misleading...

Oh tonight you are in for a treat! It’s a double feature!

Part one to commence momentarily and part two to follow later…

The scene opens at Barnes and Noble with wee V scooting all over the children’s book section like some kind of speed racer and M and I frantically trying to keep him from destroying the room like he does his bedroom. One corner of the section had a raised platform, which I am assuming is for story time. V found it incredibly amusing to climb up the steps and then climb down them face-first.

In the middle of all of this action, there was a pause for some serious grunting. You know what that entails…. and if M and I had any doubts, those were quickly chased away on his next lap passed us.

Foul ball in play!

I grabbed the diaper bag and Little Man and headed off to the washroom, hoping that they had a baby changing station.

And oh thank god they did. One of those Koala ones which, I think, are considered the norm in terms of changing stations. What followed was not. Or not at least any norm that I have encountered. Which might mean that it has now become the norm. Which scared me. And still does.

That strap that you tie your child down with was broken. And I say ‘tie down’ as that is what I wished I could do.

Or maybe super glue him to the table. My changing pad and the changing table combined together created the slipperiest surface man has ever known. It was like I had oiled the whole thing (and him) down. I couldn’t keep him on his back. Or in one fixed place. He moved, the pad moved with him and he almost slid off the table about a dozen times and almost landed in the garbage can a few times too.

I. Could. Not. Keep. Him. Still.

And then he started screaming. It was one of those long tiled bathrooms, changing table at the end in the handicapped stall. It echoed.

M swore he didn’t hear a thing outside, but I caught a few looks on my way out. I saw you looking at me. Go ahead! You try it! See if you do a better job than I did!!

Approximately 15 minutes later I emerged sweating like a mother (oh, how this expression makes sense), with angelic-like V in my arms, poop-free and content now that he wasn’t on that awful table. I needed a shower. And a drink. It was 11 am.

Koala changing tables, I curse thee!! Please provide multiple straps so all of us mothers with our practical changing pads that your surface repels can strap our children down so they don’t end up in the garbage can with the dirty diapers (holy run-on sentence).

How I long for the practicality of the Vancouver Airport marble slab changing counter outside of customs, with that deep indentation, your child ain’t going anywhere……

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Filed under amazing!, annoying, awkward, baby, books, boys, changing station, discovery, dream, epic, faux, holy mother, Mad skills, Mummy, parenting, patience, public, what the?

Haiku

haiku-blog

Tonight, I blog, right?

Or enjoy my happy bed.

Pillows are my friend.

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Filed under amazing!, amusing, epic, faux, Florida, Haiku, happy, Orlando, poetry, random, Writing

Jacket

jacket-blog

With an Internet blackout, I am typing this away on my desktop…. The blog-gods will be appeased with this… right?

Anyways I was thinking tonight about the amount of jackets I used to own when I lived back in Canada.

Oh the times of Talia and Jaime, those 2 cousins that lived together and had a huge hall-closet and between them had many a jacket. It was packed full of jackets….

In particular, I believed that Talia had a very nice woolen Pea-Coat that I adored. I think it came from L.L. Bean. I might have worn it every chance I could.

For some reason tonight while I was watching Big Brother, one of the contestants was wearing a jacket that not only reminded me of Talia, but also of University in general.

The jacket that Brendan was wearing was exceptionally cheap looking. Total faux-leather with faux-sheepskin on the collars. Awful. Reminded me of a jacket I owned in the ’90’s.

Faux leather…. Naugahyde to be exact.. Like my Gramp’s couch.

I thought that jacket was awesome. It cost $20, that I clearly remember. It was total faux-everything, and buttoned up like a suit-jacket. I wore it everywhere. I thought it made me look professional. Or cool. Or a combination of both. And then a friend of mine bought the same one…. Unprompted and without knowing that I had it. That must have meant that I had good taste, right?

And in retrospect, it was the most awful jacket you have ever seen. But it was the nineties, so that…well, that was the way it went, eh?

Again, that jacket-cupboard was full of lovely jackety things. All sorts of grey, black and dark brown. Several types of navy coats. An old smoking jacket. One or two coats made of synthetic materials… it was a glorious array of coats…and scarves and gloves… good times….

And then on a completely different topic, I just found this lovely blog which is full of pretty things to look at. And interesting things to read…. probably you want to go and check it out. For reals.

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Filed under Canada, cousin, faux, jacket, Uncategorized, University