Category Archives: clapping

Regret-ish

You know how sometimes you immediately regret what you just did?

Like perhaps  talking about ‘male parts’ in a hardware store. Or letting your very small dog sleep with you in bed. Now that’s the only place he will sleep at night. Or letting said small dog bully you and your husband into not hugging or kissing in sight of that dog. He barks until we stop.

M has nicknamed him the ‘cockblocker’.

I am sure you have you list of regrets. I know there are more on my list, those were just a few to tease you with.

My recent regrets:

Regret #1

V’s introduction to the ability to make the toilet make items go ‘bye-bye’. What was I thinking!

Actually, what I was thinking was that I would try and get him more interested in the potty. I sit him on it naked after the bath (for 2 seconds and whisk him off before he gets squirmy). So I thought I would combine that with taking a little piece of toilet paper, crumpling it up  and flushing it ‘bye-bye!’. I might be the stupidest person in the world.

I might as well have taught him how to start the car.

Regret #2

We had a can of whipping cream in the fridge from Thanksgiving. Now I am a sucker for things like that. I have been known to stand in the open door of the fridge and fill my open mouth with it. Yum.

So, the other day while V was sitting in the fridge (just ignore that part of the sentence), I grabbed the can and squirted some in my mouth. He looked up at me with a curious expression.

Without even thinking, I bent down with the can. He immediately opened his mouth (just like a baby bird) and I squirted some whipping cream right in there.

The look of surprise was just priceless. Followed by a look of delight. Followed by a small moment of panic when I thought I heard M coming down the stairs. How can I explain V sitting in the fridge with a mouth full of whipped cream and me red-handed with the can?

I would never hear the end of it, just like I never hear the end of the time he caught me in my underwear, standing in front of the open freezer with a container of Cool-Whip and a spoon at about 6:30 in the morning in his parent’s apartment. That was 6 YEARS AGO! For the love of god!

Anyways, happily he did not appear.

V and I hung out in the fridge for a little while longer. A few more little squirts of whipped cream, several delighted and messy grins from my Little Man.

And now an unending fascination with the whipping cream can, its bright red lid and the bottom shelf in the fridge where the can lives.

Maybe I should move it? Nah… then he wouldn’t sit in the fridge anymore…

xoxo a.m.

Leave a comment

Filed under amazing!, Big kids, boys, clapping, drama, dream, family, health, Love, Mad skills, Orlando, painting, parenting, patience, pee, potty, potty training, random, sanity, Toddlers, whipped cream

Project

crochet-blog

Who knew people crocheted skank clothes?

 

Last year I did a lot of crocheting… I made a wee baby blanket for my girlfriend, a wee one for myself (anticipating the arrival of the Little Man), a shawl to snuggle him in while I was breastfeeding. As winter approached, I decided that making a ‘big-boy’ was a wonderful idea too.

How nice for him to have something made by his Mummy to snug the face into at night and keep those toes warm during the harsh Floridian winters… I happily spent my lunch hours and evenings unraveling my many mistakes and raveling them back up…

Post-crochet explosion in our house (and post-pregnancy as well), that yarn that Little Man so helpfully chose for me (by putting it in his mouth) started to grow some bunnies. Dust bunnies, that is… I moved the project from its prominent position in the living-room and its travel bag for its work commute, to another bag in our bedroom. And then that bag was hung up in our closet. And then it started to get warm again and suddenly the whole purpose of the blanket was not so emergent anymore.

I had lots of time to work on it. And because I had lots of time to spend on it, I spent no time at all.

None.

That’s  the way it works, right?

And then we went to Canada.

And then we decided to buy a house.

And then we bought one.

And then we moved.

And now? We are settled. And to kick off this wonderful cool temperature that seems to be moving into the Central Florida area, I thought it would be nice for V to have a blanket to snug his face.

Apparently I only have so many ideas and they just rotate throughout the year… Sad.

Last night I couldn’t find my crochet bag. Slight panic. M managed to pull it out of somewhere. Hallelujah!

I pulled my little project out of its bag and was shocked.

SHOCKED!

It was teeny.

It might as well have been a place mat.

How was he ever that little?! Looking at it and then remembering him from this morning, imperiously shouting ‘Mumma!’ at me, while pointing at his bottle I had in my hands and then toddling off to watch Murray from Sesame Street talk about the ‘Word on the Street’.

Last night I spent the evening unraveling that loving creation, feeling a little weepy while I was doing it. It took about 45 minutes, but there was just no saving it. It was too small and no amount of frilly fringe would make it big enough to cover the man-child. And frilly fringe would just be a bad call. Really bad call…

So here we go again… Starting tomorrow, I mean. And yes, it will be chronicled. Expect updates.

It will be made this winter, damn it!!

4 Comments

Filed under art, art projects, atlantic, clapping, cloud nine, crochet, discovery, dream, East Coast, epic, fancy, Florida, glorious, havoc, Love, Mad skills, over the moon, parenting, patience, The South, Toddlers, Uncategorized

No

scold-blog

Last week I watched V stand in the living room, shake his hand at the dog and shout (actually shout!) “Da! Daaaaaa! DAAAAA!!!” at him. The first time it was funny, as was the second time actually. Quite funny too. The third time he did it, I realized it was a little familiar.

Familiar as in it was something I did all the time.

“Chewie. No. CHEWIE!. NO!” I shout. All the time. And then, when that doesn’t work, I say in my most calm of voices “Chewie. No, buddy. GET. DOWN” (Please visualize  him frantically barking and jumping back and forth on top of my arm-chair near the window, freaking out at everyone and their dog (literally) who walks by. Or walks near. Or near-ish.

Pain. In. My. Ass.

Apparently I shout at him a lot. AND shake my finger, just like V was showing me. I do it often enough that V is now an expert at it as well. And I am not sure that I like the image that is being displayed.

So that made me think about things. About how much we pick up from our parents, what kind of lessons we learn as children that shape our world today. It really made me examine my own actions… and then look at my personality and see if I could see my parents actions reflected in that.

It was very insightful. I saw interesting reflections of both parents in my temperament and actions. I’ll just keep those thoughts to myself for now.

How much of this is genetic and how much of it is learned actions? I swear I feel some of my beloved Gran in me, especially these last few weeks when I am rather a lot ‘flighty’. More so than usual. Yikes! There might be more Gran in me than I thought! Not that that is a bad thing. I just wish it was accompanied with a bigger chest and more glamour. Like Gran.

I digress…

Oh, how I am like my mother. Might as well just have cloned her. And then made me. But added more sarcasm, made her slightly more high-maintenance (here, M would chime in with ‘a lot’) and added about 40% of Father Gilbert. And then you have me.

Higher on the maintenance level than I would like to think I am (I think I am pretty low… M disagrees A LOT), cleanliness obsessed, no patience for crap, bullsh*t or any of that crap, hard to know. Mostly because am not interested in knowing you that much. Unless you show interest in knowing me. Then I am interested. And that is because of the shyness and poor self-confidence issues.

Oh internet, how you bear and handle my confidences…. You are like the ultimate secret diary.

V is on the path to becoming an interesting combination of M and I.

3 Comments

Filed under amusing, annoying, atlantic, awesomeness, baby, boys, clapping, dream, East Coast, epic, family, fancy, fate, Florida, havoc, head, late night, Love, Mad skills, Mummy, Orlando, patience, The South, tired, Toddlers, total destruction

Applebee’s

dinner2-blog

M and I were brave this evening and decided to take wee V out for dinner with us. We didn’t want to hit up anything fancy so we ended up at Applebee’s across the street. For my lovely Canadians, Applebee’s is like going to Earl’s. But with Rock n’ Roll paraphernalia instead of parrots.

It’s cheap. Crowded. Full of families.

In short, the perfect place to practise on. After we’ve master this place, we can move on to fancier places… Like, um, Chili’s…

So this was this evenings conversation…

“What would you like this evening?”

“I’ll have the Shrimp Fiesta sala–nanananananananana….Vincent. Nananana. No. Salad, please… And a glass of wine.”

“I’ll have the Roasted Red Pepper Chicken Penn-nanananananana. Vincent. Nananana. Put that down. Penne pasta. And a Caesar salad on the side. And some french fries. And a beer.”

“I’ll be right back with your drinks”

*please hurry*

5 minutes of thumping, clapping and hitting ourselves on the head commenced (V’s new favorite motion of choice).

Drinks arrived. It was 2 for 1 night (and apparently is every night of the week. I slurped back a glass of wine. M slurped back a beer) Clapping resumed.

Food arrived…(in between the clapping and food, there was little to no conversation). Conversation started but was cut short like this: ‘How was your da-dadadadadada day? Wheres Dada?! There he is!!! Yayayayayayayay!!!” *clap clap clap* etc

French fries arrived on a plate that was delivered directly to V. How thoughtful of the young waitress to deliver a plate of piping hot fries fresh out of the oil to a 1 year old. Thank you. Lets now listen to him scream while I remove them from his reach and cool them down. M, please distract him with a rattly Zebra or something….

Fries cooled down, eating began. And M and I ate quickly.

V ate so many french fries that I thought I would seriously regret this meal tomorrow. I still do. I am so going to rock-paper-scissors M tomorrow morning for the diaper change *Junken!!*

The rest of the meal consisted of clapping. Cheering. Hitting ourselves on our heads. Saying “What’s that?!” a million times. Really it sounds like ‘Izzat!” but that is what it means. Picking up toys. Picking up more toys. Apologizing to that couple that got a toy thrown at them (sort of). More hitting. Some random Pterodactyl noises (think  loud shrieks). French fries gently sprinkled on the floor like someone planting grass…. etc etc.

And then we went home. It was 7:30. V went right to bed. All of that restaurant excitement clearly tired him out…. he went right to sleep.

I love my child. Sometimes I really love it when he sleeps. Tonight is one of those nights…

xoxo a.m.

3 Comments

Filed under amazing!, atlantic, awesomeness, baby, bed-time, beer, boys, clapping, epic, family, food, glorious, Love, M, Mad skills, Mummy, patience, public, random, tired, Toddlers, wine

Dream

dream-blog

Tonight is the last night of my ‘1 month of posting’….a month of posting that I haven’t fulfilled. I know there were 2 dates that I missed.

One by sheer lack of imagination… another by a comeplete lack of actual power. So it was 50% my fault. AND 50% not at all. Thank god (and also blame god for that last one. It really was his fault)

Things that happened this month:

I read the whole Twilight series (and then mentally married Jacob in my mind)….(and then divorced him and married Edward)…

V learned how to say ‘Bye bye’ and clap, and say ‘Uh-oh!!!’

I pretended for a whole month that I was an actual ‘I get paid for it writer’ writer…. *dream*… it was a good dream….

I got a pedicure.

I turned 33.

V became 13 months… (almost 14 now)

I ate some crab legs.

I picked numerous paint samples…

I fell in love with M all over again.

And then, I took a nap.

Looking back at it all.. it seemed that it was a good night (all in all… and by  ‘night’ I mean month…)

Looking forward to breaking in August…

xoxo a.m.

Leave a comment

Filed under amazing!, amusing, clapping, discovery, dream, epic, Home Depot, Love, Mad skills, patience, poetry, The South, what the?, Writing

Discovery

discovery-blog

Things V can do:

If you ask him to clap his hands, he will happily oblige.

Shake his head no.

Point his pointer finger at airplanes.

Say “Daa-do!” excitedly when he sees the dog.

He used to just say “Uh!”, the first part of ‘uh-oh’, but has since progressed ahead to the complete phrase, which he say repeatedly to our great excitement.

This evening while I was at the In-laws picking him up, we were getting ready to leave when we all started to say goodbye. “Bye, bye Vincent! Bye-bye!” and to our great delight he said “Bye-bye!” right back at me. And just to make sure that it wasn’t just some random baby-babble (which I equally enjoy), we asked him again.

“Bye-bye Vincent!”

“Bye-bye!”

You wouldn’t have believed the amount of smiling and clapping that went on afterwards. We were all lit up with the biggest grins.

As the Summer of Dad begins to wind down, I can’t even believe how much V has changed in the last few months. I say months, but really I think its been about 6 weeks or so. I am good at exaggerating. M can tell you that for sure.

It seems like he has turned into a opinionated person in the last few weeks. There is a lot of head shaking, shrieking and throwing of things happening over in this apartment.

Oh good lord I wouldn’t have it any other way though. Sometimes I try to imagine what life would be like without him…. and I can’t. Well, I can, but it seems such a dull and colourless existence that it is a complete waste of time for my imagination. Why even bother attempting? Might as well just enjoy the moment(s) and path that my life is on…. every second of every day just gets more and more interesting.

Parenthood is kinda like being Indiana Jones. Really! Ah, the joys of discovery that lies around every corner these days. And I mean actual corners. As in I walked in the house this afternoon and rounded the corner with V on my hip, I encountered a lovely pile of dog-poop. Thanks Chewie! I love discovering poop. It is my favorite.

There is a lot of discovery involved. I have discovered that V doesn’t like brussel sprouts (M chimes in ‘Of course he doesn’t! He isn’t crazy!’ whatever…. they are delicious). I have discovered that at every opportunity, those little hands will do down those pants…. usually right after I have removed a wet diaper. I have discovered that grapes will fit up his nose (actually M discovered that one. And really, V was the one that discovered that first). I discovered that our dog will really eat anything. And even if he doesn’t want to, he will carry it around the house and hide it…. which is why I find gluten-free waffles, corn-muffins and cheese biscuits everywhere, tucked away in corners of our apartment.

Hence, this is why discovery is Parenthood’s Indiana Jones-like theme. The joys of finding things in ears (blood) and noses (grapes). And of course in diapers (hands and poop). And also around every hour of the day…. cognitive skills are a fast paced thing, I can barely keep up with it all.

Why am I still awake again?

xoxo a.m.

4 Comments

Filed under amazing!, baby, biohazard, boys, clapping, dog, epic, family, happy, Holy Grail, holy mother, Love, Mad skills, Mummy, parenting, random, Summer of Dad

Secret club

motherhood-blog

I just started reading “The Happiest Toddler on the Block” in an effort to prepare myself for what will certainly happen and/or what is already happening.

The whole tag line of the book is “How to eliminate tantrums and raise a patient, respectful and cooperative child”. Now this sounds like a great plan to me! We’ve dabbled a bit in the tantrum pool… just a bit… However, if V is a combination of M and I, then for sure we will have some huge issues with stubbornness (me) and argumentativeness (M). Ok, both of those apply to both of us.

So far it is interesting. Basically it states that toddlers are like cavemen because their little brains are too immature (with patience, logic and language). It discusses key ways to communicate with children in order to decrease poor behavior. Some things I feel a little unsure about… it’s a tricky issue to tackle!

I mean, I see the point that Dr Karp is making, but at the same time I am unsure if I seriously am capable of doing the following:

Vincent says ” You want! You want! You want…. want…. WANT!! You want bottle now, right now!! But wait a minute honey, first we need to sit in our highchair before we have the bottle”.

Am I really capable of speaking like this? Without feeling like a total retard?! Not sure….

Toddler-ese is what this is called, and apparently (according to this book) it is quite effective. Is it?

I desperately hope so, especially as I am reading the ‘success’ stories and am imagining V and I as the end result of these stories. Minus the ‘ese’. Well, there might be a little bit of ‘ese in the house, but in public? That is where I feel a little bit iffy…

And lets ignore the fact that I already point and narrate everything when I am out in public with V. And sing songs. And blow raspberries. And really could care less who sees or hears me do all of these ridiculous things. Reading this book about advocating this sort of behavior times 50 makes me….well….laugh actually.

It makes me laugh as is is the greatest thing ever to glance across at another mum and realize that she is pretty much exactly on your path. As different as all of us mums look, we are all reading, doing and pretty much thinking the same thing. ALL THE TIME. How refreshing is it to know that you are not the only one reading and thinking these things.

It is a lovely secret membership and I welcome it. And am grateful for that unspoken support… xoxo to all my mums out there from a.m.

1 Comment

Filed under awesomeness, bed-time, boys, clapping, drama, East Coast, epic, family, holy mother, Love, Mad skills, parenting, patience, public, The South, Toddlers, West Coast

Zap!

zap-blog

As you may or may not know, V is an actual genius.

It’s true.

He proves it to us day after day. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just that we are easily impressed… But these things he does are AMAZING! We are astounded.

He eats a blueberry for the first time…… HOLY COW!!

He gobbles down asparagus like it was candy, making me exclaim “Ha! I know you got that from Grandpa Larry!”. WOW!

He crawls faster that I can run, which clearly illustrates that I need to exercise more as I must be going pretty slow. Right? Or maybe he’s just a super-fast baby. KAZAAM!!

He charms all ladies with a single casual coy glance from those heavily-lashed caramel-brown eyes. BA-BAYAM! (Southern accent is implied here)

I am sure that this must be getting ‘old hat’ for all 4 of you that read this blog on a regular basis. I am sure you are thinking things like “Yes, yes Jaime. We know he is amazing *sigh* and charming *double sigh* and super clever *HUGE extra deep super-sigh*.  For the LOVE OF GOD.”

Yes, yes, I know all of that. But then, tonight, he did something unbelievable.

And you ready for it??

Are you sure?

Can you handle the full-on buffalo-jumping-off-of-a-cliff super excitement of it all??

The most amazing I-just-discovered-the-most-awesome-musician-I-have-ever-heard-and-I-want-to share-it-with-everyone kind of feeling?

A kind of I-rode-a-camel-for-the-first-time kind of unbelievable feeling?

Alright… here it is.

He clapped his hands by himself.

Holy crap!

As I was watching him do it, it was like my mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on. I saw him doing the action, and watched the “I am clever” smile light up his face, but still, I had no idea what he was doing. It was like when I saw him stand up for the first time. I almost didn’t believe it.

I think he clapped for about 30 seconds straight before I actually comprehended what he was doing. I followed my non-comprehension with “Good job, Little Man!”. And then I cried.

Oh my big boy…. Clapping away by himself in his high-chair, covered in grilled cheese sandwich,  as I was grilling him some asparagus and defrosting some of his birthday cake for dessert. I know “grilling”, right? I might as well grow his own food while I am at it.

Ok, back to me blathering away. I cried. V is one. He claps. I am teaching him to point at pictures in his bedtime books, he is saying things to me that almost sound like real words. I swear he said “Pop-Pop” the other day. My heart might explode.

Too. Much. Emotion.

If I can’t even handle clapping, how am I going to manage him walking. Even going potty. Clearly I will just be an emotional mess until he is in his 30’s. Can’t wait!

1 Comment

Filed under amazing!, boys, busy, cake, clapping, drama, epic, holy mother, Love, M, Mad skills, Mummy, parenting, patience, random, sanity, Summer of Dad, Uncategorized