Socks

My living room times a million

Finger up nose.

Pants around ankles.

Toothbrush in eyeball.

Socks on floor.

I think this sums up the week nicely.

1) Finger constantly up nose. Not my finger. And not my nose. All day. Every day.

2) V is currently 17 months. I refuse to buy him any pants small than 2t or 24 months. There is just no point. So last weekend I bought him some jeans, Levi carpenter pants (adorable). They only stay on if he is wearing shoes. Shoes seem to block those pants quick descent to the floor. I have to roll the cuffs up and that helps prop the jeans up on top of his sneakers. Nice.

3) In my efforts to promote good hygiene to my toddler, I’ve been gently promoting the toothbrush. Mostly as something just to hold and put in the mouth. Some brushing movements are made and I figure it’s a start.

Tonight, in his thorough excitement about his new toothbrush, he punched me in the eye with it. It hurt. I hope there is no bruising… Holy mother does than boy have an arm on him!

4) I might lose my mind about these damn socks. Can someone (besides me) pick them up?! All. Over. My. House.

Before V, there were M socks everywhere. Drove me nuts. Post-double shift socks were scattered everywhere. The dog finds them delicious. Still does. And V has inherited this from his father. Socks come off the instant they are put on. In the car. In the house. In the yard. On the sidewalk. Mid-poop. Mid-poop clean-up.

Poop-socks? Good times.

Click here to learn some valuable tips about socks… and how to wear them. Properly.

Stink

I am thinking that I might rename my blog “Things my husband and child do to me”. I know that is all I blather on about. Is it entertaining for you? Yikes! I hope so! It is for me…

Since we are currently pending finalization on our new house, I don’t have much to say. I am not going to yoga. We are trying to not eat out. I am not shopping for everything. Unless it’s V-related and then it’s no holds barred. I can shop forever for him but can I buy myself a shirt? No.

I literally feel the need to shower him with everything (kisses, hugs, new clothes, books, hugs, more kisses, snuggles [even though he does not snuggle, never has unless he’s sick and sometimes pushes me away when I try] tasty healthy treats, rattly things and on and on). I sometimes feel guilty about spending money on myself.

So really nothing is going on over here. No exciting things, just regular life things. Just a lot of waiting. And the waiting is hard. Especially for me, as waiting and I are not the best of friends.

Things my child did to me today:

It is so cute, I don’t even mind that much. I am teaching him to brush his teeth. He get very excited about this nightly event and I let him hold the toothbrush all by himself. We’ve been working on ‘brushing’ motions for a while and have managed a regular, somewhat jerky motion. If I try and help him (oh, he has to hold the brush by himself), he yanks the brush out of my hand and grunts in an annoyed manner. So, unassisted brushing it is with a light dash of arm-waving.

The fun part comes about 15 seconds into the brushing. V has not learned the exciting technique of swallowing while brushing. Of course he hasn’t! He’s 14 1/2 months!! So it all just drips right out…. Elmo baby toothpaste and spit dripping onto my arm. I am so into the whole night-time brushing thing that I don’t even notice until we are rinsing his little hands. I. Am. Covered. In.  Drool. Oh, and baby toothpaste… It just rubs right in though… no worries. Can’t even notice it was there…

As for that husband of mine?! I swear to god if I find another dirty stray sock lying around the house, I will remove all socks from this premises… No joke.

Where ever it is he leaves them, our Chihuahua finds them, drags them out and romps joyously around the house with them. Chews them with such ardor that he might as well marry that sock. And if he married all of the socks that he loves on, M would be sock-less. Forever.

He often brings them over to my lap to share them with me. Ick. ICK! M! I hate your socks!!

But I still love you…

For things that stink (like M’s socks), click here