Category Archives: accident

Revenge pee

Things to Google:

Revenge Pee

And, of course, it is my son that leads me to Google things like this. The majority of knowledge I have gained from my son in the last 3 years is urine and feces related. Google is my best friend. It has helped me learn  lots of things, most of which are regarding how to remove odors and stains from various fabric-type materials.

For the last 3 weeks or so, a particular pattern has been developing. One which has, honestly, been rather hard to figure out. Periodically V will just pee. A sort of no-warning situation. Often times it’s as a result of a stressful situation, or a situation he just doesn’t approve of. Or, mostly, something he disapproves of.

Or we’d fight, he’d cry and then pee on the floor. Through his shorts. Or, I’d say no, he’d cry and then pee on the floor. Sometimes he’d just run off to a corner of the livingroom, pretend to play with his toys and then announce “Mummy. I peed. Right der.”

*sigh*

But finally I made the connection. Revenge pee. Dude.

Telling one of my friends about my theory, she thought “Did you see if there is anything online? Probably there is a Mum that has dealt with it already…”

Well, I did learn a whole bunch of interesting stuff about people who take revenge on other people by peeing on their stuff. Animals too. Not peeing on animals, I mean. Just animals that revenge pee. That’s what you get when you Google ‘revenge pee’.

When, however, you Google ‘Children pee’ you get all sorts of shizzle. Info that, frankly, I have no interest in really reading as I am living the dream and am pretty sure that all Mum’s are doing the same things that I am. There honestly is not that many actual options.

Comfort (if it was indeed an accident) or reassure.

Obviously clean up is a MAJOR part of the operation.

As of yet, there is no punishment. It is so a total ‘f-you Mummy, let me have my own way!!’ that I pretty much cannot have any real reaction. Maybe an eyebrow raise. Oh, and a Mummy-face. One that I am still perfecting as it has a 50-50 response rate.

Today was a good day though. No revenge peeing. Plus V actively asking to use the potty. AND he pooped. TWICE. ON the potty.

Despite my total exhaustion and low levels of everything (Family health issues that I will not be discussing, except to say that there are some. They make me sad. And I am trying very hard to be adult about them), V filled that potty the m-f-ing up.

Which, I admit, in hind-sight type-wise sounds a little gross, but for real. We were super high-fiving each other and I did not have to clean up any poo from any non-toilet surface today.

Now I have totally lost my train of thought. Pretty sure it’s about pee. Probably poo too. It is my life, after all.

Anyways, any tips on surviving revenge peeing?

xoxo a.m.

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Filed under accident, epic, holy mother, Mad skills, parenting, pee, potty training, Revenge pee, Toddlers, Uncategorized

3 more sleeps

To be honest, I am not sure if I am really prepared. And also is it really Christmas on Saturday? I’m feeling a little unnerved by that.

Usually I am more organized. I always send cards out on time, I make a lot of lists (which annoy my husband), I get a little whirlwindish. This year I am the Queen of Lackadaisical-land. I am halfheartedly mailing Christmas cards. I am feeling slightly detached from all of this.

And at the same time? Super involved in it for Vince’s sake. Multiple attempts to see Santa, lots of shopping, many hiding places around the house, tons of lights, tree up since pre-Thanksgiving, too many singing animals and one ‘Santa Paws’ aka ‘Kwismas Dog moobi’.

It’s almost like I am two separate people.

Tomorrow is my last day of work this week. It’s been a LONG week so far. Working in the type of industry that I do, this time of year is a time of desperately needy people who NEED to have emergent surgery for issues that have been plaguing them for months. Mostly because they have met their insurance deductible. Forgetting, of course, that hundreds of other people have had the same brilliant idea way earlier than them. It’s just weeks of constant arguing and really crappy attitudes.

Ugh. Ok, enough of a mope Jame!

Tomorrow can’t come fast enough though.

Anyways. Mope finished. I do deserve a high-five for mailing my Canada packages out in time (or so Edward says anyways).

I have half of my presents wrapped and all my shopping done. I am 3/4 finished mailing holiday cards. I have successfully visited Santa with my son. I am going running tomorrow (and by writing that down, that means it’s true).

This evening, V turned to me and said “Mummy? Tell Santa am I good boy.” Wow. An almost grammatically correct sentence. “Well honey, if you can be a good boy, I’ll tell him”.

“Mummy. Am I good boy” (This is how V says ‘I am’). But sentences like these are often followed by complete and total out of control bad boy behavior. And, in this particular case, by Vince’s new favorite sentence:

“Mummy? Am I poopin’!!!!”

“You are?”

“Yes!! Need change!”

Damn that makes me laugh!

Oh V-monster, how I love thee. You cannot help but lift my spirits with every little thing you utter…

3 more sleeps, my sweets. Santas coming!

xoxo a.m.

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Sharp

It’s Spring. Spring always makes me want to clean, something that I wish would affect my husband as well…

I think it must just be that lovely fresh air. There is just something about it that makes you want to rejuvenate your whole life. Starting with your house.  Mostly your bathroom.

And so that’s where I started yesterday. Well, I initially started in Home Depot, with a gift card, the Little man, a shopping cart, a desire to teach him how to say ‘Awesome!!!” and a complete and total lack of shame.

A baby makes people do your bidding. And climb ladders. And give you stickers.

$200 later, I emerged with several stickers, a can of ‘Blueberry patch’ paint for my bathroom, a new ceiling fan that was tres expensive and new window blinds for my bathroom.

And this is where the story gets good.

It involves me, V, 3 different sized screwdrivers, the top floor of my townhouse and my eagerness to get started on my rejuvenation project.

I was pretty sure that he would entertain himself with his toys while I fussed in the bathroom. And he did for a short period of time. And then got bored and climbed into the bathtub. Happily I was working right above him, I was attempting to removing the old crappy blinds.  This room contained the only crap blind remaining from the previous owners. The only crap blind they didn’t take.

I got stuck on a stripped screw (teehee~), I guess I just physically don’t have the strength to get that mother out of the wall. But I thought I did. And I certainly made quite an effort.

Such an effort, in fact, that my feet got sweaty and slipped on the porcelain tub, which made me hip-check the wall which, in turn, dislodged part of my towel rack…

Those hips of mine are so sharp that they popped a wall fixture right out of its socket.

There is now a hole in my wall.

This was a bit of a shock. I was looking to do some renovating, but not quite as soon as this. I am holding off on any home improvements until my father-in-law sets up camp on my second floor…

Watch out. I’ve got some sharp poppers.

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Filed under accident, bath-time, clean, damn fine hips, epic, Home Depot, home improvement, Mad skills, sharp, Uncategorized