Can I indulge in a little emotion for just about a paragraph or so?
Tonight Vince said to me “Night-night Mama. Bye-bye!” and then he closed his bedroom door in my face and I heard him clumsily climb up onto his little bed to the applause of Daddy.
Yes, that’s right. He only wanted Daddy. Only wanted to hold Daddy’s hand when we were walking. Only wanted Daddy Daddy Daddy. And in fact, when he didn’t get Daddy, he had a complete melt-down.
And then you could hear my heart breaking. Because he used to want me and now he doesn’t. I had to hold back the tears and stuff my obvious hurt feelings in my back pocket.
I mean, how much of an Emotional Cancer am I that I get my feelings hurt by a two year old?
About 15 minutes later, M emerged from V’s bedroom, doing a slow-mo victory dance. It was the first time since the big boy bed that he has successfully put V to bed. We totally high, low and too slow fived each other.
I missed him saying ‘Mummy too’ tonight and his little warm body snuggles. I missed reading him a book. I missed everything. I only got the lame things like changing a poop diaper, washing his face and brushing his teeth. Then in swept Daddy, like a superhero, with books about Nemo and baby farm animals.
Geez, Jame, wallow enough? Ok, really, I think its amazing that Vince and Daddy and a team. It is the Summer of Dad, after all.
Deep cleansing breath in and out and here’s hoping for some balance. And some emotional control.
PS: I hope I get some Mummy time this summer too…