Sliced apples are annoying

The last few months seem like a blur when I think back on them. Especially when I look at my little boy, who really has become a little boy! His personality is really starting to shine and its hard to imagine him as being anything less than he is now.
The evolution is so slow you hardly even notice the time passing, and then all of a sudden 4 months are gone…

Post-pregnancy is a whole world of things that books or other peoples personal experiences cannot really prepare you for. But perhaps no-one is really willing to share the cold hard truth of it with others for fear of scaring those pregnant or soon-to-be…

It is what I imagine Rumpelstiltskin would have felt like after he awoke from that decades long slumber.

Its like your body restarting after being out in the cold all winter.

Its a lot of things you didn’t ever think would be a factor.
Without going into too much detail (god forbid you should hear from me), it is an interesting experience. But funnily enough it it fits in well with motherhood, being another of those things easily forgotten as it passes.

Labour being the first and foremost.

And maybe the only other thing.

That is easily forgotten, I mean.

It was so agonizing, all of the lead up to the actual event. And then so intense for such a short period of time. And then everything just drifts away at the first glimpse of that new little being… and continued to drift in the weeks following, that the unpleasantness was easily pushed to the side in the light of the wonderousness (probably not a word) and awe of the most perfect child ever created (and seriously I know all new parents say that, but really in my case its actually true…).

Let me introduce a wee vice of mine. Celebrity gossip.
So addicting.
Must read every day.
Must read blogs on CGos every day.
Get withdrawal symptoms if not read.

However, the most annoying thing ever has got to be celebrity mums.

In light of the post pregnancy unpleasantness it is really hard to look at these creatures (as sometimes that how I feel….grrr…) as even real, and equally hard to imagine that they could possibly be going through the same things as me.

Post-pregnancy weight loss is a current huge peeve with me, probably as I am going through it. Sans personal chef, personal trainer, and 24 hour nannies.

So its terribly annoying to see women like Nicole Kidman who look like someone just cut and pasted a preg bump on their tummy and who probably (like Michael K says) just had a pillow stuffed under their shirt. And even more annoying to hear about the carefully balanced meals these people were eating. We all know that no-one was eating a sliced apple, 2 pieces of wheat toast and a handful of almonds for breakfast. Please.

Personally I think my body is perfectly fine post-pregnancy. Privately I think I need to go to the gym more. Curiously I ponder when the hell I will fit it all in.
And annoyed I wonder how many more of these stupid magazines I will read before I really really really realize that even though I look wide-eyed at ‘articles’ entitled “Celebs!! They’re just like us!!”, these creatures are not and to increase my sanity levels I really should stop reading those magazines.
And I will.
When my subscription runs out.

1 Comment

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One response to “Sliced apples are annoying

  1. Talia

    You rock. I totally loved reading this and your last comment is so perfect. I can hear you saying it and it made me miss you that much more! You have a fun way of writing and it is so you.

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